lost without you

so i've been kind of slacking in my .. writing in my blog, so sad.. i guess i've been so busy and i don't really have much to say that i didn't have anything better to say here so i just left what i had before. lol .. i should be doing my calculations assignment for pharmaceutical care -- i'm a slacker i should be on top of my shit .. oh man, i need another break! even though i don't have any exams this week -- it was all a lie! they did it on purpose because i have this wretched assignment to do that i slacked and haven't started until now. and even now, i'm writing in my blog! i'm such a slacker .. such a frickin SLACKER ..
but enough ranting and raving, i am just feeling a lot better than i did a couple of days ago. there was a filipino couple that was involved in a murder suicide here in our area [if you live/lived around here you probably heard about it on the news or by word of mouth] and it was crazy how many people asked me if i knew the family. i reply no .. only that i know that someone i knew from way back was next-door neighbors to the family .. but it's so crazy. it got me thinking .. and you would probably think i was really morbid for thinking this but -- if something serious were to happen to me, how far would the shockwave go throughout the community? how much of a response would people have to my misfortune? would they just be interested for the sole fact of its sensationalism or would they honestly care? would people i met only once suddenly remember the one moment we ever had contact just to be able to form a connection to the story they saw on tv? i don't know. one thing's for sure .. people are usually quick to pay attention to horrible things .. who knows why, but i guess that is the way life is. the world is such a crazy and dangerous place ..
so yesterday [10/22] was RAPS annual halo-halloween -- yes, i know .. it's never on a sunday, but for some reason this year, that's when it was. it was an odd time to have it, and i was sad because some of my friends and etc didn't come .. and sad because i didn't even get to see the whole show, but being onstage was most fun .. and i'm glad i got to do it one more time before pharmacy really kicks me in the ass and i can't do it anymore. there are always people who think cultural dancing is corny and refuse to do it .. but iono, i've loved it since i've been doing it here in school. i don't know how much longer i can hold on because 18 credits is getting to be a lot these days. of course you already know that from reading this from time to time .. hahaha .. but anyways, congrats to all the performers yesterday .. even if i didn't get to see you, i'm sure you were all pretty awesome. =) i'm sad too because it started and ended so late and i was too assed to stay for the whole thing since i ended up dancing at 11pm. yeah .. late, i know.
today i gave out candy to my classmates in pharmacy .. yeah, i only had like 50 packs and i have 200 classmates, but to the random people i got to throw candy at, i'm glad i made their day. it makes me happy when i make other people happy. i guess, i aim to please, huh? yup. i sure do love candy .. i wish i could go trick-or-treating like back in the day, but i guess i'm getting too old for it. but, never too old for candy .. mmm .. 2 of the freshies on rcdt dressed up as fukyu and fukmi .. awwww. they are so cute .. hehehe. wish i had that kind of enthusiasm .. ^_^
i think i know what withdrawal feels like .. you know, when you go without something for a couple of days, you really start to miss it. yeah, i'm a whack ass, i missed my boyfriend already after 4 days. i couldn't even last. but then again, that's because i see him everyday [so you're probably thinking, but you see him everyday .. so a couple of days won't kill you] but contrary to popular belief, it does. maybe i'm just a sap or a loser or whatever, but i do. it's not like before, when i was a young one in high school, not seeing who i was in to for weeks, months on end. i don't know how i put up with that now that i look back on it. maybe because i was too busy fantasizing. nowadays i have to live in the here and now because so many things just leave in the blink of an eye. and when he's not here with me in the here and now, i feel like a part of me is missing. and i feel lonely .. [hey there lonely girl.. lol] and then i was looking at a quote from someone's profile, and i thought it was kind of funny-- "lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off" ..ahahahaha. well, that's only true in about .. mmmmm, maybe 20% of the time. give or take a few.
unfortunately, i think i've run out of things to say. i've really got to get back in the game of writing in my blog because my past few entries have been crap. well this one has been. then again, sometimes, i like to be short and to the point instead of rambling. since i don't have anything to say. but anyways, okay, good night.

charles, i love you. you know that.


the end.

<3 to:
bestfriend in the universe [jackie] -- hahaha, those are great chill pills. and my new skinny jeans rock my world, just like you. =)
the fish [gillian] -- lol, sure.
the anonymous -- um, you're a fagnut. but thanks for the comment.