these are the questions i ask myself

jonsantos (12:04:56 PM): what are you doing right at this second?
angelica (12:05:02 PM): ummmm
angelica (12:05:08 PM): i was about to write in my blogger-ness
jonsantos (12:05:39 PM): I'm looking at your blog right now
jonsantos (12:05:44 PM): can you blog me in there
angelica (12:05:46 PM): sure
jonsantos (12:05:51 PM): sweet
angelica (12:05:54 PM): what would you like me to say
jonsantos (12:06:22 PM): I was just about to blog then the epitomy of sexiness, Jon Santos, IMed me.
angelica (12:06:31 PM): gotcha
angelica (12:06:33 PM): anything else?
jonsantos (12:06:43 PM): that's about it
angelica (12:06:51 PM): lol okay
jonsantos (12:06:57 PM): =)

hahaa .. so anyways, part of my entry is dedicated to the self-proclaimed, "epitome of sexiness," the new alum of rutgers himself, jon santos. hehehe

but anyways, so week 2 of school is down, and here i am, still alive. but now, damn, i'm pretty exhausted .. i had my first few set of little exams/quizzes .. and i'm just hoping that i didn't seriously fck them up. it rained for half the week .. which kind of put in a downer -- especially when i have soggy pants because the rain is pouring like a mother and my pants are too long which leads them to dip into the ugly puddles of school. we got our shiny labcoats from our ceremony, and i have to admit, it puts a little bit of motivation and kind of brings to life everything that we've all been vigorously studying for. and of course, you know me, i'm a sucker for anything personalized with my name on it. woooooo .. it's almost like being in a sorority. joke .. i'm trying to find time to do things that aren't pharmacy related, but it's starting to feel in vain especially since everyday i come home and i'm ass tired .. too tired to do anything properly. i fall asleep by 11:30! i haven't done that since i was a freshman in highschool! lols. but i think i had a change in body clock this weekend because i took naps in the middle of the day which leads me to staying awake later. and i'm surprised that i actually look at notes at night .. maybe it's because i'm secretly freaking out that i'm going to fail. hmmmm .. i hope i still have time for fun ..
yesterday, i was having pretty much a half-crappy/half-really good day .. retail therapy tends to make me feel better than i usually do. and i can never resist comfortable weird colored sneakers. though, now i have to invest in something awkwardly green. like olive green. do i know how to rock something olive green? along with a wonderful timepiece purchased by my m-o-m. i don't even want to wear it now because it's so pretty. it's actually partially my birthday gift and my mom said not to wear it until my birthday .. that seems likely .. i was saving the pretty timepiece for a special occasion .. but i doubt i'll have any of those in the near future .. my birthday is still 3 months away. but for now, it's finally getting sunny and warm again .. it's almost like it's summer coming back to give me one last goodbye. but i don't mind .. it's time to wear longsleeves again and sweats and you know, jeans every other day.
i have a feeling this entry is going to be really short .. even though it has the possibility to be longer than anyone would expect .. but part of me feels like this part of me that's currently under stress needs to be kept to myself .. or just between a select few people. sometimes i forget how public things can get when i post stuff on the internet .. that's usually how drama starts, and i'm too old to be involved in such unncessary stress. gillian tells me that i need to learn to keep things in, yeah .. i'm getting to be good at that, i guess, although it does leave me in a vulnerable place at times. i guess there are just those types of problems that no one really knows how to cure .. and you either learn to live with it or get over it or maybe eventually it'll just go away.. and i'm not sure if school is really the best remedy for this.. but what can i do .. hey, at least it keeps my mind off of things. i feel like i need another vacation, and i need to get out of new jersey again. if only i had time to go up to the city.. especially since it's free for students to go next week. well, i guess this is the end of my mindless ramble. until next time when i actually have coherent and flowing comprehendable thoughts.

<3 to:
bestfriend jackie; hehe .. i'm gonna go get the super dry ice from home depot and ship it to you like they do in the choco milk commercial. =)
joe aka jopapa; hey man, i don't like soggy pants. but next time, i will wear my cut up sweats.

drugs, 8th grade, and fudgy burritos

so it has only been about the first week of school and already i am like mad tired dude. and it's weird because i am a junior [aka 3rd year] in college and i feel like i just started high school or eighth grade! i don't understand. everything feels so different and sometimes i am just confused. in a nutshell, i have been learning about:

the stuff that makes up the drugs; [aka pharmacology]
the stuff that makes up the stuff that makes up the drugs; [aka molbio&biochemistry]
how to make the drugs; [aka pharmaceutics]
how to sell the drugs; [aka pharmacy practice&management]
how to deal with the people i sell the drugs to; [aka pharmacy care]
who used to sell the drugs a long time ago; [aka history of pharmacy]
and what it feels like to sell the drugs [aka intro practice experience]

it's so nutty. i feel like i don't know how to do normal stuff like add or subtract. i miss math and science and social studies and philosophy and random stuff! ahhhhhh monotony! on our first day me and supersam felt kind of lost because we didn't know how to distinguish between our classes because we kind of like have class in the same building for 3 or 4 hours straight at a time. and about drugs! drugs drugs drugs. so much drugs. i think my head is spinning. right now it is saturday and i was trying to plan out hte rest of my studying schedule. i don't even know how to do that. before, in school, they give you a chance to read ahead because we get like 102938102938 textbooks with 102938102983 pages in them, and they give you homework problems to do.. but now i don't have any homework problems! i don't even have text books for half my classes! what is that! it is all printed notes from the computer! i don't even know how to study ahead so instead, i am going to revert to re-reading my notes that i just learned the night before each class so that when it is time to crack down for my exam i will not be so frustrated that i don't know anything when i study for it and i will stop and cut back on the cramming. oh man, i feel so scared for this year! i am so scared that i am going to fail out because everything i am taking is so radically different from anything i have ever learned in my life. it is like -- a big flashy sign saying 'YOU ARE OFFICALLY GOING TO BE A PHARMACIST.' there's no way out anymore! this has become my destiny. scary to even have a destiny. sometimes i don't really believe in the destiny stuff because nothing ever goes as planned. when i was in 8th grade i didn't plan on being a pharmacist. i didn't plan on studying to be one of those people behind the counter at CVS. in high school i thought i would be saving the world in a top-secret lab blowing up stuff and studying rare species of bacteriums and playing with the titration thing. but now i am learning about drugs. then again, when i signed up for this pharmacy thing i didn't know this was the stuff i would be learning about. i thought i was going to walk in learning about how to count pills and learning which company makes which drug so everyone gets their prescription. of course, i have to learn about that stuff too, but i get to learn about cytochromes and DNA helixes and xenobiotic chemicals and fun stuff like that. and how to make cough syrup .. LOL! i hope and pray a whole lot that i do really really really good this semester. so that i will not feel like doing all this stuff is a lost cause. i hope that the next 4 years are going to be good. i hope for a lot of things. i know that graduating is humanly possible but i am still really scared that i am going to wake up one day and fail out of this crazy program. that is like my worst nightmare in the whole wide world .. besides someone dying or getting pregnant or something. it's up there. sometimes i get so freaked out that i am going to mess this up. i hope i don't. i pray and pray that i don't. that and i pray that i don't lose my sanity or anything.
other than all that pharmacy craziness.. i guess the first week of school was pretty good. i was a little sad i haven't really seen a lot of people i know [maybe because i have been stuck in my bermuda triangle of arc-hill-pharm buildings lol] but it was kind of nice that so many people come up to me and ask me mad questions like 'where are the grease trucks' or 'where is the pharmacy building' and i feel all special cuz i know where that stuff is. oh man, i am really old huh! i wonder what it is that makes me look so official that people ask me mad stuff like that. maybe i have that look of confidence with my jansport backpack and shit! hahaha. plus, i still work at the computer lab, it is much fun .. but now it is really getting hectic because there are so many people in the lab [like 50% already is pharm heads printing out all our shit] and some people are dumb and they think they can get in when we already say "hi you need ID." ah derrr! i hope that i can handle work and school too together .. it was a little fuzzy when i was hungry and i said something about a fudgy burrito and the other consultants thought that i was a nut. but it is still fun to sit around in the consultant station .. CCF are cool peoples. and it is nice to have money coming in and i don't have to sell my soul though clothing because some mean lady is forcing me to stay and dedicate my life to pants and ugly shirts for 30 something peeps. though, maybe one day they will make a fudgy burrito like they make choco tacos. mmmm .. oh yeah, i want some rita's italian ice before they close for the summer!
well, i guess i cannot complain about my life right about now. even though i am freaking about pharmacy during the first week of school, i cannot say that my life sucks, because so many people want to be in what i am in. and plus i have this boyfriend who is like, studious. like what the hell, he makes me look bad. lol. i thought i would never find a guy who would actually call me and tell me to study and ask me how i am doing. sometimes i think it is too good to be true and especially that i am very lucky to have such a smart dude .. even though he is really dorky at times .. joke! i still love him and all that shit. =) yay for you charles! YAY FOR YOU! =P heh, okay, time for me to go copy some notes. or maybe watch tv! LOL, so much for my new and improved study schedule .. nyahaha. catch you on the flip side!

ps. does anyone else notice how scary facebook got? it is actually funny because here i am complaining about its stalker-ish ness and yet i am feeding into my inner voyeurism by writing in my online blog about my innermost thoughts. how strange .. how strange

<3 to:
bestfriend jackie; hehehehe! that gummy snake was the best. i miss you lots and i hope school and the desert is treating you well. come back soon again so we can have even more adventures. =)
joe aka jopapa; ehehehe. yeah, that gummy snake was crazy. too bad they don't sell them up around here i would so get you one.
gillian; HAHAHA .. you are a funny lady. you and your bahama mama and laughing and the pictures. ^_^