drugs, 8th grade, and fudgy burritos

so it has only been about the first week of school and already i am like mad tired dude. and it's weird because i am a junior [aka 3rd year] in college and i feel like i just started high school or eighth grade! i don't understand. everything feels so different and sometimes i am just confused. in a nutshell, i have been learning about:

the stuff that makes up the drugs; [aka pharmacology]
the stuff that makes up the stuff that makes up the drugs; [aka molbio&biochemistry]
how to make the drugs; [aka pharmaceutics]
how to sell the drugs; [aka pharmacy practice&management]
how to deal with the people i sell the drugs to; [aka pharmacy care]
who used to sell the drugs a long time ago; [aka history of pharmacy]
and what it feels like to sell the drugs [aka intro practice experience]

it's so nutty. i feel like i don't know how to do normal stuff like add or subtract. i miss math and science and social studies and philosophy and random stuff! ahhhhhh monotony! on our first day me and supersam felt kind of lost because we didn't know how to distinguish between our classes because we kind of like have class in the same building for 3 or 4 hours straight at a time. and about drugs! drugs drugs drugs. so much drugs. i think my head is spinning. right now it is saturday and i was trying to plan out hte rest of my studying schedule. i don't even know how to do that. before, in school, they give you a chance to read ahead because we get like 102938102938 textbooks with 102938102983 pages in them, and they give you homework problems to do.. but now i don't have any homework problems! i don't even have text books for half my classes! what is that! it is all printed notes from the computer! i don't even know how to study ahead so instead, i am going to revert to re-reading my notes that i just learned the night before each class so that when it is time to crack down for my exam i will not be so frustrated that i don't know anything when i study for it and i will stop and cut back on the cramming. oh man, i feel so scared for this year! i am so scared that i am going to fail out because everything i am taking is so radically different from anything i have ever learned in my life. it is like -- a big flashy sign saying 'YOU ARE OFFICALLY GOING TO BE A PHARMACIST.' there's no way out anymore! this has become my destiny. scary to even have a destiny. sometimes i don't really believe in the destiny stuff because nothing ever goes as planned. when i was in 8th grade i didn't plan on being a pharmacist. i didn't plan on studying to be one of those people behind the counter at CVS. in high school i thought i would be saving the world in a top-secret lab blowing up stuff and studying rare species of bacteriums and playing with the titration thing. but now i am learning about drugs. then again, when i signed up for this pharmacy thing i didn't know this was the stuff i would be learning about. i thought i was going to walk in learning about how to count pills and learning which company makes which drug so everyone gets their prescription. of course, i have to learn about that stuff too, but i get to learn about cytochromes and DNA helixes and xenobiotic chemicals and fun stuff like that. and how to make cough syrup .. LOL! i hope and pray a whole lot that i do really really really good this semester. so that i will not feel like doing all this stuff is a lost cause. i hope that the next 4 years are going to be good. i hope for a lot of things. i know that graduating is humanly possible but i am still really scared that i am going to wake up one day and fail out of this crazy program. that is like my worst nightmare in the whole wide world .. besides someone dying or getting pregnant or something. it's up there. sometimes i get so freaked out that i am going to mess this up. i hope i don't. i pray and pray that i don't. that and i pray that i don't lose my sanity or anything.
other than all that pharmacy craziness.. i guess the first week of school was pretty good. i was a little sad i haven't really seen a lot of people i know [maybe because i have been stuck in my bermuda triangle of arc-hill-pharm buildings lol] but it was kind of nice that so many people come up to me and ask me mad questions like 'where are the grease trucks' or 'where is the pharmacy building' and i feel all special cuz i know where that stuff is. oh man, i am really old huh! i wonder what it is that makes me look so official that people ask me mad stuff like that. maybe i have that look of confidence with my jansport backpack and shit! hahaha. plus, i still work at the computer lab, it is much fun .. but now it is really getting hectic because there are so many people in the lab [like 50% already is pharm heads printing out all our shit] and some people are dumb and they think they can get in when we already say "hi you need ID." ah derrr! i hope that i can handle work and school too together .. it was a little fuzzy when i was hungry and i said something about a fudgy burrito and the other consultants thought that i was a nut. but it is still fun to sit around in the consultant station .. CCF are cool peoples. and it is nice to have money coming in and i don't have to sell my soul though clothing because some mean lady is forcing me to stay and dedicate my life to pants and ugly shirts for 30 something peeps. though, maybe one day they will make a fudgy burrito like they make choco tacos. mmmm .. oh yeah, i want some rita's italian ice before they close for the summer!
well, i guess i cannot complain about my life right about now. even though i am freaking about pharmacy during the first week of school, i cannot say that my life sucks, because so many people want to be in what i am in. and plus i have this boyfriend who is like, studious. like what the hell, he makes me look bad. lol. i thought i would never find a guy who would actually call me and tell me to study and ask me how i am doing. sometimes i think it is too good to be true and especially that i am very lucky to have such a smart dude .. even though he is really dorky at times .. joke! i still love him and all that shit. =) yay for you charles! YAY FOR YOU! =P heh, okay, time for me to go copy some notes. or maybe watch tv! LOL, so much for my new and improved study schedule .. nyahaha. catch you on the flip side!

ps. does anyone else notice how scary facebook got? it is actually funny because here i am complaining about its stalker-ish ness and yet i am feeding into my inner voyeurism by writing in my online blog about my innermost thoughts. how strange .. how strange

<3 to:
bestfriend jackie; hehehehe! that gummy snake was the best. i miss you lots and i hope school and the desert is treating you well. come back soon again so we can have even more adventures. =)
joe aka jopapa; ehehehe. yeah, that gummy snake was crazy. too bad they don't sell them up around here i would so get you one.
gillian; HAHAHA .. you are a funny lady. you and your bahama mama and laughing and the pictures. ^_^