kindness is timeless

hello everyone .. so i guess since memorial day weekend is over, my summer has unofficially begun. actually, it officially began after the semi-formal, lasted 2 weeks, and is unofficially ending tomorrow. haha. i start summer school tomorrow, and work too, and tomorrow i'll be all over rutgers for a record, 13ish hours. what the hell ..

anyways, for the past 2 weeks that i've been off, yeah, it's been some great times. =) i was so excited, for the first time, i FINALLY drove to the number 1 party town of middlesex county, and the home of my number one ultimate the best in the best homie/homeslice in the world christine! lol. it was pretty sweet. i have been waiting for this moment ever since i got my license about 2 or 3 years ago. this is big for me man! MAN! lol. i was so happy i was probably happier than people who won the mega millions lottery here in jersey. [oh man, what i wouldn't do for that much cheese.. but anyways!] yeah so, i've had some history with sayreville .. a good amount, especially for someone who doesn't even live there .. and i guess it was time to bring everything full circle with my ability to finally drive there with no restrictions from my dear old parents and of course, with mary riding in the car as my faithful passenger and navigator. it's one step towards completion -- you know, where i get to drive there by myself. haha. and as promised, with the advent of my very first time driving to sayreville legally, we of course had to have a celebratory party with my homeslice complete with cake, candy, and other yellow items. haha. when i look at it sometimes, it's funny to have to grow up in steps .. but i guess that's the way everything had to be done, according to some demented plan .. but who cares, maybe i wasn't emotionally ready to drive there back in the day. maybe it was right to wait. maybe i would have done something stupid a couple of years ago had i been able to drive there. or not.. and i guess i'll never know. lol. it was nice to chill out in my homie's house .. i'm finally making up for all the times she drove to edison by herself to come and visit me. lol. and maybe sometime soon, we'll have the real big party. it wasn't as big as planned because i forgot the balloon. haha ..

aside from that, i've really gone out more in these past 2 weeks than i probably did all last summer. haha. movies, movies, eating, being a semi-mallrat, spending money left and right .. wow, this broke ass ho can not afford to keep up this pace for the whole summer. haha. and gas is pretty pricey .. it eats up like half my paycheck, and doesn't get me as far as it used to .. holy shiet man, i don't want to let stupid gas prices kill my vacation. then again, i'll be in summer school .. and then vegas .. so the real summer fun kicks in around august. keep that in mind kids! haha. and .. i guess .. remind me to .. say what to say. especially to my mom. she's a crazy lady sometimes .. joke. lol. and now that it's summer .. it's time to hook up with the family. i miss my family .. being in college and them being .. whatever age they are, it's hard to hook up and have stupid moments like we used to. i had one last friday .. it was pretty nuts, and i felt pretty old, but hey .. that's what comes with being the .. er, oldest-ish? and i hang out with the older heads and i feel young and underpriviledged .. oh 21 .. that's the golden age, huh? haha. but, my fun times fun times are screeching to a halt for right now .. because of summer school and work. oh man, it's so frickin hot in my house. man jersey weather, thanks for blasting heat in my face. i could really use a hose sprayed in my face or something. or have a water fight .. water fights are fun .. mmmmm ..

hmmm .. yeah .. i feel like i have stuff to say here but i don't even know where to begin with it. there's this part of me that feels like i'm addicted to crack cocaine or something or i'm on this demented path to .. something. i don't even know where this path leads to. i feel pretty demented right now .. this is more confusing than school .. what the hell! anyways .. maybe i'm just tired and irritated. who knows .. i have issues .. wow .. maybe i'm just overanalyzing things. because, maybe i'm just freaking out. which is bad. because if i continue to freak out, i might mess up something really good. and i don't want to do that. i learned from my mistakes about 4 years ago. i don't want to go down that path again. because .. after everything i think about, after everything i put myself through .. freaking out, and trying to match everything with my unbelievably high expectations .. i forgot to just be happy with what i have and with everything that has happened to me. after all of my mixed emotions, i still keep coming back for more. maybe that's the key. the fact that i still keep coming back for more. it's like hope showing me that, this is why i can't let this go. it's like my crack cocaine.. in a good way, of course. i can't even explain it! all i know is that .. at one point, you just look into a pair of round brown eyes, and that's it. i'm done. i melt. the fck man .. :scratches head: usually i don't post song lyrics, but i felt like, this is the way to best express things .. maybe? maybe not. or i could be getting ahead of myself..

I feel like you're the only one
I feel this loneliness undone
And I just can't see myself
Without me in your arms
If I had one last sunset to see
One day, one last deep breath to breathe
No tears would fall, knowing that you're… all i need

okay i'm done

511 ♥


<3 to:
bestfriend jackie; awww thank you! =) i'm glad i inspired someone. yay. ^_^
joe aka jopapa; mmm yay sushi .. yay ..
christine aka the homie; yay i'm glad you liked my entry. i knew my shoes would come in handy .. haha .. thanks for listening to my rantings and for being the clarity i always need. i love you too phenom! =)