tired is an understatement

well hello my friends! wow, yeah, i should really be studying for my one and only organic chemistry lover but here i am! bullshitting around! haha. anyways .. so school started last week -- oh man, tell me why, the first day of school, the first class of my day, i felt like i was already scared and it wasn't even finals time yet. :sigh: i constantly feel this sudden urge to study something but when school starts on my extra extra heavy tuesdays and thursdays .. i crack open a book and all i kinda feel like doing is sleeping.
fwack .. i've saved this fcking post as a draft like 10398109132 times -- TODAY is my day to finally finish this damn entry. haha. well anyways .. school is really kicking my ass .. but i guess i'm doing pretty good about all the reading and shit -- okay, i didn't start reading sociology yet, whatever it's my frickin elective .. and i still have yet to take off the wrapping of my brand new superfrickinexpensive systems physiology book. ugh .. stupid textbooks. what garbage. it's all garbage .. tonight after my orgo love fest [yes, 3 back to back classes that all begin with "organic chemistry" in my schedule =P] i have wonderful pan-asian festival with my loving RCDT .. i love how we pull stuff out of our asses like 2 days before the performance. we're so frickin awesome -- i just love all those people. ^_^ and after that, tomorrow .. i have my stupid ass orgo lab at frickin 8am and i have to bring my stupid dishwashing gloves and stupid goggles. damn .. you would have thought that for 99 frickin cents our cheap ass school could provide us with that stuff. man .. just 2 more days until friday .. and then i can just sleep sleep sleep [oh, did i mention i have off on fridays? i know i'm so cool =D] but also study my ass off some more since i won't have the distraction of having to drag my ass to class. how ironic .. i'm more nerdy on the weekends. lol.
on another bright ironic note .. with the arrival of school comes the arrival of going out. i still think it's weird that i go out more when school's around .. even though i have so much other shit that's supposed to be higher on my list of priorities .. but i guess people need social ties or else they'll commit suicide or something [iono i heard it in sociology.] anyways, last saturday i hit up a college party with my homeslice christine and my crazy neighbor randy [lol] even though i know that deep down in my heart of hearts that i don't dig the college party scene at all. haha. but i guess .. what's college with a couple of college parties here and there .. by next year i'll probably feel old and won't go to the parties up in the dorms/suites/whatever anymore. i definitely think the club scene is more my cup of bubble tea [homeslice and i both agree] -- mainly because i don't drink [a sober college student!? :gasp!:] and i get really claustrophobic in those little boxes of a rooms they call dorms. granted, okay, so i sipped a little bit of what was in my red cup -- just to taste, and for the first time i really felt what peer pressure was like.. ahaha -- and even though it was considered really 'light' of a drink .. i didn't like it. still! haha. so instead i made like a cool faux partier and just held the cup for the look. lol! i get my buzz off of pure H2O. hell yes. =) well .. i don't know if i'll be partying anymore any time soon .. but going to college parties always leaves this bad taste and i just wanna take a breath mint by going to the club and dancing it off. of course there always comes the fine print .. but hey .. you only live once, right? right. =) maybe in a couple of weeks .. oh clubbing .. fun .. ^_^
in addition .. so battle of the barrios is coming up and i guess we have to start with some hard core BOTB practice sometimes soon. wow .. a month .. oh man. well, as is in my shameless plug tradition -- if you people aren't busy on march 04, 2006, and you happen to be in the tri-state area close enough to drive to new brunswick, nj .. come see battle of the barrios in the college ave gym! it'll be a lot of fun i promise ^_^ and you get to see me wear a cool costume! wooo!
and to conclude .. i can't wait until february 4. GOT ' EM! =D =D =D VALENTINE'S DAY is only good for a couple of things -- candy, hearts, red&pink, oh and SNEAKERS. =) if you didn't see already [i had a link in here before lol .. go check out kicksaholic =P], those are the only things keeping me going right now. haha. sure, they're GR, i don't frickin care .. starting now i'm gonna get every valentine's dunk that comes out until they stop making valentine's dunks. [and no, i don't like last year's dunk -- they were patent leather shiny red! i'll get those when they go down to like $5. haha .. ] anyways, i think those are gorgeous. yes. oh yes.
FINALLY, i updated. :satisfied:

<3 to:
jackie [yes i did get my class! woo! i miss you too thanks for my package! =)]; marielle [my fellow blogger =)]; and one goes to tim for commenting me on my other entry. =)

edit: pictures for your viewing pleasure =) i was too lazy to do it before. plus! pictures from this night's pan-asian festival. yippie! [click to enlarge!!]

can you say, red cups?


supersam and kassy


nothing turns people on more than butterfly sleeves and see through shirts. `;D

how about you leave me a comment?

lol .. yeah, i know, i changed it again -- i only had the other layout up for not even a month and here i go changing it again. but i can't help it, i was in such admiration of my random pink site that i decided to write in it. not only that, school is coming on tuesday [ :GASP: ] which will leave me little time to write in here again because of you know -- those panic attacks, orgo exams, other exams, dancing dancing .. and did i mention battle of the barrios is coming and so is the fiesta? lol. i hope i don't miss the fiesta this year like i did last year. because from what i heard it was a pretty good frickin time. wow, i'm surprised i'm in such a good mood right now .. i felt like such crap this morning when i woke up because this whole.. self-limiting cold thing is really a bitch. and plus, it's raining too, or sleeting .. i don't even know anymore. yuck. precipitation!
on another note, i'm still not registered for an elective for school and school is when -- in like 3 days!! what the hell!? how many people at this university have to take a freakin elective. MAN! well, i hope i get special permission or whatever for something .. maybe in a couple of days people will end up dropping something and taking something else. let's all just pray really hard people! =) i'm kind of torn of whether to push for an afternoon class that is closed, or an evening lecture that is closed, or take a friday class. but i kind of like having fridays off as of right now .. it makes me feel college-y.. ahaha .. in a weird way, i'm kind of excited to get back to school. probably because when you commute, "going back home" for winter break is no different from every other day you go back home after school. of course, who doesn't want break to end so soon -- especially me because i want more time to figure out this whole scheduling thing. and i didn't even get to go back to nyc. darn .. well, i guess, maybe over spring break. when it's warm and stuff like that. wooo!
finally, do you like my theme? yeah, i know it's early for valentine's day, but by that time i'll be so schooled up that i don't think i'll have time to make a valentine's layout. plus, it's one of those layouts that i think i could push it all the way to past february. cool, huh? =) oh man i love musiq. lol. who needs a boyfriend when i can just listen to his songs. JOKE ! but forreals, i love his songs. they're pretty frickin awesome. and the inspiration for this whole scheme. yups! sigh. but valentine's day can be a really annoying holiday. especially when you don't have a frickin valentine .. and on top of that, i have a pharmacy career fair that day. oh gee .. lol ..
well anyways, that was the end of my useless entry. oh! i forgot! i was supposed to put up a pic from chillen with my godsisters yesterday! lol. well i'll only put like 1. as my spotlight for today. =]
oh yeah my godsister cristina was takin the pic but she's supposed to be in it too. ^_^ i love you cristina! =)

well no shoutouts because no one left me a comment. boo.

the end.

some break this is // RU SCREW

wow. so school starts in less than a week .. and i don't even have all my required classes yet. why, you may ask? because of the infamous RU SCREW! or more specifically, the complications of being a pharmacy student in this day and age. next week is school and i don't have an orgo section, i don't have an elective .. man oh man. what am i going to do with my life. it sucks that i'm having panic/anxiety attacks way way even before the hint of finals. even the start of 2nd semester. oh, what have i done to anger the fates and bite me in the ass like this. i don't even know what to do anymore .. i've been abusing my email account emailed everyone from the dean of academic services, to his secretary, and the secretary of the organic chemistry department. hey man, i passed orgo fair and square .. and i hate to sound like i have a big head or to sound like i'm some kind of queen of the world or something, but i feel like i should have had first dibs on getting into this stupid class. moreso because it's not that i want to take it, i have to take it .. and not only that, i have to take it with the lab that f's up everything and i have to take it with the systems phys class that f's up everything too. so i mean, come on, it's not like i wanted all this crap to happen. and you woulda thought, having a list of all the shit you have to take for the semester would have made registering for classes that much easier because it's not like everyone and their mothers has to take what you to take anyways. but oh no no no my friend, it's that much worse .. and the stupid thing is that it's rutgers fault for deciding that those classes had to be at those times. come on now, wouldn't they have known by now by the 10293810293812 other pharmacy students that had to go through that.. that they should at least complement all the crap in the first place! come on now people, be logical !!! we all had to / have to / will have to take all this stuff man! geez man! and it's not like i dont want to take class in cook douglass! heck, i don't care! i can go hang out with homeslice up in that piece! geez! i can't even register for that! geez!

ROAR!

and plus i still have to find an elective! okay tell me why every single intro course is closed?!?!?! come on people! how many frickin people in my frickin school have to take the frickin electives?!?! geez!! why do they have to make my life harder than it already is! man oh man! this degree better be worth all this stupid shit that i have to go through like a bajillion times right now because man oh man i am so fricken frustrated! this frickin sucks man! MAN ! geez! what the hell ! as you can tell i'm really irritated! man ! i was talking to my friend jay and he said that i should inhale, exhale because i need to relax. HOW CAN I RELAX!?! lol. oh man .. this is what i get for being an anal-retentive / OCD / anxiety ridden pharmacy student. i just hope those anxiety attacks go away soon. man .. maybe i should do something fun before the start of break. sigh x10000. i'm just saying .. this degree better be worth all of this. i think i deserve a new pair of shoes because of this. even though i just got a pair of wedges. i want another pair of wedges. and sneakers. and the emancipation of mimi. and some gas for my car. and a whole other lot of things .. .

to conclude i would like to end by saying that i love my parents a whole lot.
as well as i love my cousin jenn, my ate, my cousins/relatives mary and gabe, ate mercy, ineng, jeremy.. my entire family including my 5th cousins that i haven't met yet ..
kuya, homeslice, bga heads, godsisters, my friend eddie with his precious dead laptop, my friend jay, and a whole other bunch of people. including you. `;D
i really like saying that i love people. i think it's important in people's lives. go on, tell someone you love them. i bet you it would make you feel a whole lot better. =) it sure made me feel better.

okay well i'm done. peeeeeeeeeace .. .

[may i just edit and say that ms. axelrod of the chem department is super frickin awesome! and you know who else is super frickin awesome?! super sam! =) i'm in orgo guyssss yesssss]

♥ to: my anonymous commenter. =]

as my youth continues to waste away ..

.. i'm sure that most of you on winter break have done something productive with all of your lives. haha. me, not really, with the exception of going to new york city [scroll down for previous entry] and random trips for ice cream with mary, trips to the mall [window shopping, of course], random useless trips with my parents to useless places, and hanging out with my cousin jenn .. i have been slowly wasting away my youth [and my break] sitting at home doing nothing. you can even ask gabe .. he talks to me in his boredom in 8th period to try and alleve my boredom sitting at the computer doing nothing. ironically .. in all of this boredom i'm too lazy to make plans and actually carry them out. if only i could .. just .. drive by myself. [no, school doesn't count -- i do that like every single day during the semester. i mean like going-out type driving! like hanging-out-with-people driving!] however, if you don't know me for very long you wouldn't really completely understand my situation. which in essence .. is pretty complicated and bordering on ridiculous-ness and other such confusions. and you would probably end up being really frustrated with me and the world and all the rules.. and to alleviate the stress for you, you would just stop being my friend all together and result to avoidance and not hanging out with me so that you don't feel so bad about breaking the friendship off with me. lol. i'm just joking.

for example, today, is friday night, and i'm at home, shorty, not partying the night away.

sometimes i wish it was that simple for me to just be like, "bye parents! i'm going out for the night! see ya i'll be back later! call me if you need me!" HOWEVER, that is not the case, going out for me is complete with planning, bargaining, compromising, negotiating, escape, money, transportation.. and other such amenities. i bet you my situation could be turned into some kind of sudoku-like puzzle that people could solve on yahoo/msn games. people ask me all the time, "why don't you just rebel.."

.. and forfeit my reputation in my wonderful bill-paying parent's eyes and position as number 1 wonderful conservative traditional respectful daughter? .. ha ha ha ha ha ha that's a good one there friend. i don't think running away is a good option for me -- where am i going to go, what am i going to do .. hell, i don't even have any money in my pocket to get me to freaking menlo.

i guess it's easier for people who live with brothers and sisters to deal with their parents -- at least you have each other to lean on.. for me, when my parents are mad at me and think i'm a piece of shit .. well, you don't want to experience the feeling of complete silence and threat all by yourself. and then the only person who can really comfort yourself in person is, well, you. and maybe your stuffed animals too. man .. .

ate mercy always tells me i need to get out more. no wonder she's like my 2nd mom. oh man .. maybe i should just go to gabe's house. if he's even home .. .

and i think that's all i have to say. man boredom has reached its peak today, huh?

<3 to: CF and jackie for comments. happy new year to you both!

the end.