clumsy

yeah so remember that whole, bliss thing? the neverending state of happiness i was talking about?

yeah that's gone. it's faded out.
it's as if i was living in a dream for 2 weeks and suddenly i've woken up.

today was the second day of school and i just felt so .. so bland. like the vivacity i had was sucked out of me.

honestly, if you really want to know, i found last semester to be academically exciting. i know, i was crying, complaining that it was too hard, on the verge of getting not so nice grades -- but it was so academically stimulating. everything i was learning was so fresh, so new -- i was thrilled. it was hard, but i felt like, like .. you know what? i'm really smart to have gotten this far to be learning these things!

but now, it feels like waking up after a good night of dancing. or snowboarding, but i never been snowboarding before; but for all intents and purposes i'll use this also as an analogy. lol.
you know, you go to a great party. or, you go to new york city. and you dance and walk and dance the night away. and you have the one of the best days of your entire life, taking in all of the juice of life and it feels great!
but of course, you can't stay awake for the whole day [unless you're my Rx friends who pull all nighters LOL] and then you go to sleep. and then when you wake up the next morning it's like .. OUCH. you're tired, and sore, and just so out of it .. and all you can think about is "what the hell happened last night? it was fun, but damn!"

.. and that's how i feel like right now.

if you are what you say you are, a superstar

so i slightly changed my layout, you know, for valentine's day and all .. and my mom saw the banner i just made and started getting all these ideas ..

but it's like .. ever since charles went away to the philippines and then came back, it feels like we've been together in a state of unadulterated bliss. i feel so happy, so randomly happy, being with him, seeing him .. that it feels unnatural at times. i guess i've been spending so much time being unhappy, and stressed, that finally being truly happy scares me. but then again, i should enjoy all the happiness that i've been blessed with .. school is coming, and you know what that means. so, for the time being, right now, just let me enjoy my blissful time, with my cheesy banner showing how much i love this frickin tall guy. let me go back to those days where i could be honestly mushy and gushy like a crazed teenager. i guess it is better sometimes that charles doesn't read my blog, because i can be as brutally honest and as brutally sugary sweet as i want to. and eventually, i'll take this banner down, and put one that's simply design based.

at least, you can get a little slice of my life. you can see this person who makes me happy. and although my mom protests that this is like "bragging" or "broadcasting" charles and i's relationship, well, let me have it for these few moments. this isn't going to be a permanent banner! sigh.

i just love him! sorry! lol

2007 recap, however late!

The 2007 Survey
Did you change in 2007?:	I think so .. I feel older and wiser now lol
What was the best moment of 2007?:	my 21st birthday, yay!
Did you fall in love in 2007?:	I am always falling in love everyday with Charles [i know i'm corny shut up =)]
Did your life change in 2007?:	It changes a little everyday, but with school harder, yes
Will you remember 2007 as a good or bad year?:	I think it was both, but I'm gonna say it was better instead of worse
Bests of 2007
Song?:	Because of You - Ne-Yo
Album?:	probably Ne-Yo's album, Alicia Keys' album
Concert?:	hahaha .. I didn't go to any but Hanna Montana was bananas LOL
TV show?:	OMG ummmm Las Vegas, OMG!!! I KNOW! HOW IT'S MADE! THAT'S MY SHOW
Movie?:	Transformers!
Book?:	I don't know, Pharmacotherapy? LOL
Video Game?:	Dance Dance Revolution Hottest Party!
Fashion Trend?:	Opaque Tights and Flats
New Craze?:	? I would say Wii but it came out in 2006 lol
Worsts of 2007
Song?:	Personally I think soulja boy is pretty dumb
Album?:	the corny ones
Artist?:	Britney Spears .. just a hot mess!
Movie?:	Well if they sucked I didn't see them LOL
Book?:	I don't read books anymore LOL
Tv Show?:	Tila Tequila's show!
Fashion Trend?:	UGGS WITH EVERYTHING, I HATE UGGS
Latest Craze?:	?
Random 2007 Questions
What concerts did you see?:	None, =(
What memories were the best?:	Memories with Charles and my bff buddies for life .. oh and work memories! and and .. my 21st birthday, and random jokes in school, eating at U-yees, etc etc
How were the holidays in 2007?:	lame! Christmas was lame, no one came, and New Year's was even more lame! SUPER LAME!
Did you keep your new years resoulution?:	I don't think I really made any .. Sam and I tried to be the Pussycat Dolls .. Charles thinks I'm a pussycat doll .. so maybe? ahahahahha
Do you have any regrets about 2007?:	Just the fact that I probably could have done better in school .. what else is new lol
Who were your celebrity crushes in 2007?:	Shia Labeouf, umm, Josh Duhamel, David Beckham hehe
What celebrities were you so sick of in 2007?:	Britney and Paris hands down
Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend in 2007?:	Charles! the amazing super deluxe tall guy! my favorite!!!
Did you go to a prom in 2007?:	I had a halfway done formal, does that count?
Did you graduate anything in 2007?:	nope, i wish!
Was your heart broken in 2007?:	I had my days
Did you loose any friends in 2007?:	Well I lost contact with a bunch of people because of school
Did you discover a new hobby in 2007?:	DDR and some other stuff .. teehee
Did you make any new friends?:	School friends! Work friends!
Did you conquer any fears?:	Yep .. fear of going out late lol
Did you move somewhere new in 2007?:	Nope!
What were your favorite inside jokes of 2007?:	Oh man, so many! But the best one is SEXY TIME! and AFFECTION, AFFECTION!
Did you aquire any new nicknames in 2007?:	not really
How was the summer of 2007?:	pretty good! but i worked most of the time
What song best describes your 2007?:	Beautiful Girls -- Sean Kingston
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