clumsy

yeah so remember that whole, bliss thing? the neverending state of happiness i was talking about?

yeah that's gone. it's faded out.
it's as if i was living in a dream for 2 weeks and suddenly i've woken up.

today was the second day of school and i just felt so .. so bland. like the vivacity i had was sucked out of me.

honestly, if you really want to know, i found last semester to be academically exciting. i know, i was crying, complaining that it was too hard, on the verge of getting not so nice grades -- but it was so academically stimulating. everything i was learning was so fresh, so new -- i was thrilled. it was hard, but i felt like, like .. you know what? i'm really smart to have gotten this far to be learning these things!

but now, it feels like waking up after a good night of dancing. or snowboarding, but i never been snowboarding before; but for all intents and purposes i'll use this also as an analogy. lol.
you know, you go to a great party. or, you go to new york city. and you dance and walk and dance the night away. and you have the one of the best days of your entire life, taking in all of the juice of life and it feels great!
but of course, you can't stay awake for the whole day [unless you're my Rx friends who pull all nighters LOL] and then you go to sleep. and then when you wake up the next morning it's like .. OUCH. you're tired, and sore, and just so out of it .. and all you can think about is "what the hell happened last night? it was fun, but damn!"

.. and that's how i feel like right now.