you can be my superman save me here i am

so as usual, most of my pharmacy classmates are burning the midnight oil studying everything and anything they can get their hands on, meanwhile, i'm sitting here like the procrastinator that i am writing in my blog. haha. today is my boyfriend's 21st birthday, he is so special, and wonderful, lol, and going to celebrate where every 21-year-old dreams of going for their birthday--the bar! joke .. =) but anyways, yeah, he really is at the bar while i'm here at home because i won't be old enough yet to join him for another -- 10.5 months. which is okay with me, i'm okay with the forced sobriety that i have to encounter due to being underage .. albeit just 1 year underage. i was complaining to my mom about it, about how i'm always too young to do anything and the last to do everything. and she was like, "why are you in such a rush to grow up?" and i thought, yeah, she's right .. why am i in a rush? sooner or later, it'll be time for me to make decisions and have to fend for myself and *gasp* pay bills and stuff! and have a real job! it is scary to finally encounter that stage in my life .. or at least, preparing to be in it. some young people say they want to do really stupid things before they grow up because they know that once the ripe age hits, you have to be an adult and you can't do those crazy things anymore.. this i find true but false at the same time, because for me, i don't want to be looking back on my youth and regret some of the stupid things i did. i already have regrets and i'm only 20 years old. i want to look back and be able to say that i was smart, that i wasn't a dumbass and made truly irrational decisions .. because in the end, if you don't decide now when you're young, when you get older, how will you know what's right? this is not to say that what my friends do is wrong, because it's not, a lot lot lot of my friends are really responsible. [heller, i'm in a class of anal-retentive people who feel that studying 24-7 is the only way to live. joke supersam! joke carissa! joke viv! joke phil, rich, and raj =)] but in all honesty, it really is hard to find that balance of fun and responsibility. like right now, it would be really really responsible of me to re-read all of my notes and finish re-writing my pathophysiology. but at the same time, it would be really really relaxing if i took a step back and write in my blog. true? exactly. i guess this is where my impatience comes in, i want to be able to have all of the freedom of making my own money and being able to go to the bar and stuff like that but i fail to see the amount of experience, hard work, and studying that has to get my ass there. sometimes when i really think about it, i think college is by far the most awkward period of my life. in grammar school, and even in high school, being so sheltered helped me to focus on my work, and i didn't have to change much, with the exception of coming out of my shell personality wise. but i knew i was incapable of supporting myself or having a career. by the end of college, people kind of expect you to do both. and hopefully, i'll be ready to do that. hopefully! but for now, i guess i just have to enjoy my year of being 20 .. even though i feel really young, whenever i look at my godchildren i always feel old .. because sooner or later i am going to have kids too.. oh snap! but for now, while i have the opportunity to successfully waste time and write in my blog about growing up and maturing, i might as well take it. haha. and i guess it really is time for me to do that whole studying thing .. damn, here i go, falling to the man. haha .. anyways, be easy ladies and gentlemen, and have a good night =)

special ♥ to charles because it is his 21st birthday .. i love you dear!

<3 to:
star; thank you so so much for the lovely comment! it really made my day when i read it =) i hope you have a great day!
bestfriend jackie; you are the B-E-S-T. thanks for letting me hopelessly call you 102938109238 times. you know you can organize with me anytime =)