the truth about diamonds

so happy belated 2007 everyone, i guess this is the first post of mine for the new year .. i've been trying to come up with a new layout but i guess the truth holds that my best layouts [and blogs] do come when i'm inspired, and right now, in the midst of trying to control my manic-depressive-PMS-moody-fit, i'm compelled to share my thoughts with you, my adoring [albeit small LOL joke =)] public. so although it's a month away, valentine's day is coming.. i know it's really early to be talking about it because "it's so far away" and most people i talk to despise the holiday and/or curse it for being another reason for capitalism to take its course in selling us dozens of delicious chocolates and such .. but i must say.. should i be excited for it? or am i just hyping up something that i shouldn't even be counting on happening? sure, it's the beginning of the year.. and i feel like i'm lacking in the love department for most of this break. but i have to inquire, my lovers and friends, should i be concerned? is it worth the trouble worrying about this? i mean, i know i shouldn't expect anything. gillian and i have gone over this time and time again and the reason i get so irritated is because i am expecting too much from a certain someone. but don't i have the right? doesn't a girl have the right to be romanced? my friend joe always talks to me about his ultimate swoonage--in which he would do the ultimate wine-and-dine for his lovergirl. but my loverboy never speaks about things like that. i mean, i don't ask for much .. i know i'm supposed to be like JLO and "love don't cost a thing" type shit.. but it's like .. i see other couples and they're sweets to the max and deep down inside i want some sweets to the max. sure, PDA is not nice. i'm all for telling people off who are about to sex it up right in front of you. but would it hurt to get a hug or something? or a loving glance? and it's like .. yeah, i know i'm a broke college kid .. and everyone is a broke college kid and all .. but would it hurt to get a little something nice once in a while? i know i'm in pharmacy school working my ass off so that i would be able to afford everything for myself and so i wouldn't have to depend on a man to support me but you know .. i mean .. don't i deserve nice things? like flowers? or something? or something cute and small that reminds person of me that they think they would like me to have? i don't know .. everyone is telling me to have patience, to wait things out .. that this is just a phase and i don't need to be stressing about things because it is my vacation. i know that relationships take work. they take give-and-take and romance and all that stuff. i don't want to just assume things and i know better than to expect things. maybe i'm just .. lonely, bored, something. maybe i'm need of some more diamonds. haha. sometimes, all i want is just to hear "i love you." is that too much to ask? heck, should i even be asking? i am feeling neglected and i don't know what to do about it anymore. sometimes i want to be alone to just get over it but at the same time it feels contrary to the plan. i just want to be thought of. i want the feeling of like .. oh, i thought of you today. i just wanted to give you a call. to me, i feel like things should be intuitive. if someone doesn't sound happy, they are sad. if someone says, i'm hungry, and they are looking at your french fries, they want one. if a girl consistently looks at every diamond necklace in a store, think about getting her one. i know i have a job and all, and a certain someone does not, but at the same time, can we get a little creative here? DO SOMETHING NICE FOR A GIRLFRIEND?! hi, hello. not always the girlfriend who plans the romantic shit. i swear, i might not plan anything for valentine's day. just go home. do nothing. hang out with my mom. is anyone going to stop me? is someone going to plan something for me? i know he's not perfect, i know i shouldn't be idealistic .. i'm trying to be realistic, here. fck it, whatevs .. i need some chocolate


<3 to best friend jackie, i love love lover her. =)