take me on a trip i'd like to go some day

it is the middle of september and i felt that i haven't really had the time [or the drive] to really sit down and write a bonafide entry for my blog, and i really wanted to get one in before things really heat up and i totally forget to write one for september. lately things have been kind of tedious with school and all, it will only be a matter of time before the work starts to pile up with the tests and the quizzes and etc. i've been on the job hunt more and more nowadays, mainly because apparently at this stage i should have a "real job" [aka one that has something to do with my major] even though the new american apparel store was one of the applications i sent out. hahaha .. hopefully something good comes out of it, and hopefully i'll be making just a little bit more money soon. i was tallying up the expenses of things i feel i should be replacing in the near future -- a new coat, lenses for my glasses, a new phone -- and i don't really have the funds to back it up. [i was going to get new glasses all together but i'm too attached to my gucci frames to give them up. on the downside my lenses are so scratched up that it's getting harder to see. haha] 

and with the talk going on about the economy looming toward a downward spiral i'm getting more and more afraid of how hard it will be just to live day-to-day. sometimes when i'm in the shower i think about my future -- not just graduating, but about getting married, having kids, putting the imaginary kids through college, and even about my retirement. some financial analysts say that i should start saving for my retirement NOW [ i know, how sad is that?] which makes me feel like for the rest of my life i'll basically be working so that i can retire. it sounds so sad and inevitable. when i think about putting my imaginary kids through college, i feel like i should be saving for them now! after all, if they choose to go to a private college [which in this day and age, a private school college education goes for about ~$100,000 at the very least!]  not to mention if i choose to send them to catholic school, plus the cost of living .. i know i know, all this money talk is putting yours and my heads in a tailspin. it makes me worried and sometimes i lose sleep over it! 

when i first started college i used to think that once i graduated all my problems would be solved and i'd have endless supplies of money to buy everything i could ever need in my life. but then i realized that i'm not bill gates and pharmacists don't make that much money. i don't know how my mom got through with raising me and stuff and paying the bills because i'm afraid that i'll be poor! and now with the interest rates high and mortgages crappy and this and that, i get even more scared, especially with the government already guaranteed to take half my salary. i thought that maybe i should work 3 jobs so i'll be financially secure. but i don't know! i know that i'm overreacting, but it is a scary thought you have to admit. hopefully whoever will be our next president will be able to make sense of our economy. i always thought that maybe the key to solving our problems was just to reset prices where $20 would equal $1 again and everything would be cheaper. but with higher wages comes higher costs and this and that and stuff. one time my friend vincent tried to explain it to me and it made sense but i don't remember it anymore! i should call him and ask him.

anyways, i hope you all have a good evening, i'm going to go study the renal clearance system, YAY