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you know, sometimes people comment a lot about how " *fake* " other people are. now i'm not trying to call anyone out, there are too many people who do this, but i tend to wonder, maybe they're calling me out. because sometimes i feel a little fake. maybe i'm trying to claim responsibility and take things too personally, but i don't understand it. sure, it's not nice, or fair, to pretend to act for show. or to play along when you are really trying to hide your distaste or insincerity. but at the same time, i catch myself doing it. doing it to save face or to be politically correct.

sometimes, i think we have to be a little fake. after all, i think the world would be quite harsh if everyone was as real as real pie. even the nice people. i'm sure even the nicest person wants to curse off someone. i personally would i find it difficult for anyone to like me if i went around telling people how i honestly think they are the worst person in the world or how much their fake tan sucks. [because it really does suck!] really, do i want to be in that mess? i know it's such high school drama. and it's obvious when you sense the tone in the person's voice. well, sometimes.

like i said i do admit "faking" things sometimes to be politically correct. [i'm not talking orgasms, people, get your mind out of the gutter! hah joke] my cousin jenn said that it's something that runs in our family, LOL. not that i'm saying that my family is a bunch of fake people and that you can't trust us. on the contrary. we are very honest people and we feel what we feel and say what we say. i find my family to be very trustworthy.

but don't tell me you haven't put on a straight face when you saw someone you didn't like. or smiled so plastic just to convince them that "yes, you really do like them!" "no, it's okay! i'm not irritated!" i know i have. plenty of times. even when i sooooo didn't like the person, or the situation, or i was just very ANNOYED. i guess i do it to avoid conflict. because i can't stand conflict. and don't tell me you haven't told someone to keep a secret because you didn't want another person to know, and you continue faking along this charade of blissful ignorance to avoid a messy situation. sometimes, even trust is built on the ability to well, be fake, in a way.

so i know, you don't like fake people. i get it. i also don't appreciate insincerity when i encounter it. but sometimes, when you call them out, i hope you're not being a hypocrite about it.