girl you know what's up

hello lovers and friends! well first off, i would like to apologize for my last part of my entry being really angry .. maybe i shouldn't have to apologize, but hey -- it's not usually my nature to be bitter, and if anyone was offended or took it the wrong way, i am sorry. =) anyways, i had planned on updating earlier, but i didn't have anything to say -- i still don't, but now i feel like updating is a little bit easier and maybe i can just .. i denno. something will come out. haha. right now, it's monday and we're in the midst of a heat wave here in dirty jersey .. temps reached about, 95+ degrees here, and i don't have much relief .. except to run through the sprinklers every so often,and of course, to take a cool dip in a pool in a home in another town through the graciousness of a certain special someone -- if you know what i mean. `;D that and i could really, really use some rita's italian ices. mmmm .. cold .. gelati .. yummy .. but anyways, i guess i should get some of that before i leave for las vegas .. i don't think they have it there.. basically an east coast thing, huh? yeah. =)
last saturday was my nanay's padasal -- the annual family holiday that to me, is comparable to christmas, minus the fact that it's in july and there's no presents. that and i get bit by all the stupid bugs outside when we have the mass. they really, really itch .. oh man, all i want to do is scratch scratch scratch. but that's okay .. i guess it's subsiding, especially with the hydrocortizone and aquaphor that have become my new drugs of choice. [don't worry, it's just ointment. haha] but anyways, it was pretty fun and random, full of food and family members that i don't even know who they are but apparently they know who i am. haha. there was some lady at the party who kept talking to me and my homie and charles and she told homie that she was prettier than cameron diaz. hehe ! and charles is such a trooper, he came to the party straight up after his flight arrived from san francisco. awwww. =) someone likes me a whole lot. hehe ! i like him a lot too. and i think my family does .. or something .. i think they get the hint that he's my boyfriend. i just forgot to mention that, i'm so used to introducing everyone as my friend. and then, GASP! i have a what? a boyfriend? what? what is that word. word! but anyways, i guess all the hard work of shrimp peelings and barbecue stick making and plus, reading all the readings at the mass because my cousins all chickened out [LOL] was worth it. ate said that sooner or later jeremy will grow up and he'll be the one to read.. but for now, i guess it's just me. haha. ate and jenn were telling me that mom and ninang fely were kind of tired to keep throwing the party for nanay and tatay's padasal because they're getting old and sometimes it feels like it's just turning into a party to show off ninang b's house instead of what the party is really supposed to represent. but then again, maybe i'm still too young to understand things like that [yeah i know, i'm 19, but still!] and all i know for me is that, it's my duty as a cousin in the family to keep it going. tradition i guess, what can i say. =) and it's funny because the party used to end really late -- i would be at ninang b's until 12 or 1 am, and now, the party ends by 10. how early! lol. and you know me and the pictures --

abbygail is so cute! i love my goddaughter =)

hehe .. sleeping .. and still looking good. `;D

i heart the homie aka the newest member of my extended family. hehehe

but anyways, other than that, it's just work and, wasting my summer days away. =) i'm really excited, i'm going on vacation on saturday july 22 to hot and sunny sin city aka las vegas ! yayayayyay! i can't wait to ride in an airplane. i just love the airport! too bad because of homeland security and all, you can't just randomly go to the airport for no reason just like you can randomly go to a rest stop and get roy rogers fried chicken. mmm mmm mmm. i can't wait to do nothing and have fun on vacation! wweeeee! my mom was making fun of me that i was a little too excited because i kind of finished packing in one night. hahaha .. but then again, i know there's stuff that i might take out or something, and stuff i still need to put in, but for the most part, i got most of my junk in the trunk! yeah! i know that it's gonna be like 100 degrees there .. and 100 degrees here, but whatevs! i just want to get out of the state. hahaha .. and walk around and be a tourist and take pictures and yayayayay! and wear a bikini! hehehe! and and SOUVENIRS! WOOOOO
lol, i'm whack i know. =)

well anyways, i guess that is the end of my entry or something. maybe i'll be updating again later before i leave, who knows. hope you all have a wonderful evening! and take care in the heat.. it's pretty brutal out there!

<3 to:
bestfriend jackie; awww thanks bestfriend in the universe! =) i love pictures too!
the gian; hehe thanks gian! yeah, i have the other picture on my cd -- i'll send it to you. i still think you look fresh in that one. don't worry, i'll definitely let you know if need some backup in the whoopass department. =)
christine aka the homie; awww thanks homie! someone is also part of a dynamic duo that is oh so adorable. `;D definitely need another homie hang out.. forrreeeaaalllsss.
marielle; hehe awww thanks! =) hope things are going well for you in MA!

number 1 smash hit

well since it is summer, here is another random entry ! yay. hehe. first off i've got to say,

happy independence day!

since you know, it is 4th of july and all, i'm just kind of sad that i don't really get to watch fireworks this year and plus, it's raining ish outside. too bad so sad .. but oh well, i do have a philosophy final to study for that right now, i'm really not. where's my motivation -- holy crap, i totally fell asleep in class yesterday. O.0 hehehehe. it was pretty bad. i still think that one time with the dude who was our substitute .. that was the best class. too bad he wasn't our lecturer from the start. but oh well .. it's starting to sunny up outside, which is good .. i can go out and re-warm myself because it is cold in my house. then again, yay for air conditioning! yayayay. LOL, i really don't have anything good to say in my blog right now .. i think i'm really just rambling on and on. i kind of wanted to go to atlantic city today .. or some day .. something about altantic city feels like summer to me .. even though it's pretty dirty down there. dirty food and dirty casinos. except the borgata .. that's hella nice. mmmmm. that and six flags. nothing beats riding roller coasters in 80 degree weather and sweating and stuff like that. oh summer .. i want a slurpee too. and a new swimsuit. and a new bag, and some sunblock .. shorts for sleeping .. damn, i'll be spending mad moneys this month. especially on vacation! what what! okay since i don't have anything good to say i'll just post up pictures because that is what i meant to do. hahahaha .. so to better explain what has happened in the past couple of days since i wrote, i shall use picture form! ever so useful, no? =) click to enlarge! =)

i'm sorry gil, but this guy is really hot. ^_^ really, really ..


sneaking into the picture, are we?


fire hazardly blocking the way to the counter


i think these people are awesome. yay fusion!


fobby peace signs!


updated most wanted. yeahhh boy! be jealous.

well anyways, that is how i have been spending my summer vacation. =] and one more thing, yeah, it's pretty bad when parts of my entries are really angry, but whatever, i feel like i should have to say this because someone won't and i think they should, but i know they can't because they're too nice to do it which is what makes them really awesome in the first place. it's really f*cked up how some people can treat other people. especially when it's to really awesome people. why they gotta be like that? that's not fair. who thinks that they have the right to be like they're the shit and that they have the right to rule the world. excuse, me, uh, no? because you're garbage! GARBAGE! did i stutter? no! because you're GARBAGE!

all i gotta say is that don't ever f*ck around with me, my family or my friends. yeah i'm only 5'1'' but i have the capacity to kick your ass. people say this all the time, but i promise you, i will follw through. i will take my eskrima stick and i will bust your ass in front of all your dumb friends and those dumb ugly guys who think you're awesome. because they're dumb too! like i learned in philosophy, maybe they have some inverted spectrum problem! yeah, i know i've been treated pretty shitty myself, and didn't really do anything. and yeah, i really don't like to pick fights with people because i believe violence is wrong. but you know what else? i'm a lover and a fighter. i don't take shit from anyone, especially some stupid ass bitch who thinks she's the shit. yeah, alright. don't even play with me. you're crap! there will always be people that i just don't like in this world, and don't even tell me all their freakin good qualities. i don't buy into that garbage. hell, i'm getting too old for all this shit, but it's pretty bad how these stupid ass people act! IT MAKES ME REALLY PISSED OFF AND I WILL NOT HESITATE TO FLIP A BITCH. really. i don't like to wish death on people because that is neither right nor fair, but i know damn well that i hope you suffer! that's right. i hope you fail and cry and then you experience the pain that i went through for 2 years. because i heard where you're going.. and you know what! i won't hesitate to LAUGH IN YOUR FACE! and then you don't know what to do because you would be such a failure! and you suck at life! a LOT! and then you realize just how dumb you are! because you're dumb! DUMB! and and and! don't talk about my boyfriend like you're better because you're crap! CRAP!

amidst all that, i still pull the whole silence thing. hey, i learned it from my parents, what can i say. haha. and obviously, it works. lol. but anyways, i am done being angry. my emotional expense-- even my anger -- is not worth being wasted on these childish, crappy people. because i love my friends! and i love mary and gabe and mike, my mom and my dad, and my best friend in the universe, and my homie, and the breathing mechanisms of the fish, and .. ^_^

well okay i am done! sorry if you think that was directed towards you, if you do, you're probably wrong about that. so anyways! time to study for real. .. psh, yeah, okay ..

<3 to:
gillian; aww thanks gil! i love your comment! =) it's rough at times, but i know the time will come when it will be over. i hope. hehe
bestfriend jackie x2; hehehe you're the greatest. thanks for always listening, especially that one time when i didn't realize you had free nights yet because of the 3 hr thing. ^_^ and mahal kita din! =D

the silence hurts my ears

yeah so, even though it's summer, my entries in here have been kind of sporadic.. i check it everyday, but yet, i never really have much to say .. work's been -- work.. pretty chill and all, sometimes i think i should work like 40+ hours a week because the hours i work aren't keeping up with my illustrious spending habits. the ironic thing is, i don't really buy anything but food and gas. and the occasional, movie ticket here and there. either that, or i should really stop going out. haha. but that's what summer is about, having fun and being young .. er, growing up too, yeah, something like that. today, though, i'm staying home, doing nothing, wasting away just like i planned, but the silence in my house is killing me. once again the parental units are giving the 'let's ignore our daughter to teach her a damn lesson' trick.. but mary told me to just "aye so" it, because they will have to get over it eventually. i think. well, whatever .. what i said or didn't say isn't the worst thing, for crying out loud, i didn't even go swimming .. no reason to freak out on me like this. i wasn't lying, goodness gracious. but fine, be cranky, ugh. compared to other kids my age, i'm pretty damn good. but since i'm a proper friend, i'm not gonna say shit because that's not right either. i just hate how my good mood always gets killed when i come home. but then again, didn't i want to get yelled at? didn't i want to get in trouble? mmmm .. i guess so, but who knows anymore. i'm lonely once again, but i just want to stay home. and do my philosophy ..? probably. i can't believe that summer session is over already. it went by so freakin fast, 5 weeks gone, just like that. and i'm leaving for las vegas in about 3ish weeks, that's some pretty crazy shit too -- i think i need to get some things before i leave .. trying to make a list, but maybe i'll just buy it over there instead to save myself the trouble of packing .. hehehe. but other than the deafening silence in my house right now, the big picture is pretty rosy. which makes me feel pretty good -- it's nice to be content with your situation instead of always wishing something would happen. i've been busy, and all .. and i miss my friends .. but you know, we have to be grownups and work. and even then, i don't know if i'm ready to be a grownup. 4 years, maybe? maybe. big maybe. i just know that i have my plan for after i graduate -- i plan on moving out. forreals. i think about it every once in a while, moreso when i get in trouble and my short ass leash gets yanked -- hell yes, i am moving out and being on my own for a while. i need to learn how to fend for myself. i told it to my mom and she made me feel like a guilty piece of shit:

mom: why are you going to move there? that's so far away.
me: it's not that far away. it's like an hour.
mom: [pauses]
me: what?
mom: nothing, it's like you're abandoning me.

sure mom, i'm going to abandon you. what the hell?! who says that to people. only my oh so eloquent mother, because she really knows how to make me feel like crap. all the time. all the time! man, f*ck that man .. well hopefully, things will be okay -- i don't know how to break it to her that charles was invited for tomorrow .. i have to, before tomorrow .. hopefully, she will not give me a dirty look. what is up with people these days .. goodness. oh yeah, i saw superman yesterday and it was pretty good. pretty long, but good too. i guess i should really get cracking on my philosophy homework soon .. my final is on wednesday and all .. and plus, i still have homework to do and stuff like that. man, i feel kind of drained. oh yeah! happy 4th of july too in case i don't write another entry between now and then. lol, i still don't have much to say. oh yeah, those icons that everyone has around are really fun to make. i made some of my own too. but mine are more for me and, yeah. i wonder where mary is .. she always knows how to put me in a good mood. i'm so blah i don't even feel like eating either. just going to sleep and hopefully waking up and maybe everything will be better again. will it? sigh .. sigh .. SIGH. well i am done rambling. till next time loves.

<3 to:
bestfriend jackie: i hope you get my package soon. long days yay!
marielle aka shmelle: awwww! of course dear i love you too! take care in massachusetts!
eddie: haha yeah, the best times are the ones i always get in trouble for. =)

if i want to

so right now, i'm currently listening to what could be my new summer mix cd for my car .. yeah, i have old songs mixed in right now, and yeah, i should be doing my homework .. but i just finished writing a philosophy paper, and i still have a commentary to do .. so right now, i just want to take a little break because i did pretty kick ass on my last philosophy paper thanks to the creativity of jopapa and a certain 511. anyways .. tensions have been running a little high here in the family household .. GOD only knows why [yes, the GOD that i proved that existed `;P] and i think i just need some time alone to rejuvenate and get my thoughts back in order. i was feeling pretty jumbled after this past week, and it's nice to come back to some kind of normal -- even though it's kind of mundane and repetitive every week. though, summer classes do end in about 2 weeks .. holy smokes .. and my 2nd philosophy paper is due on monday. crunch time again, kids! wow. but i guess pressure's good, and i actually have time to put together a good bs again that's another 1000 words. yeeeah boy. =)
i had a pretty eventful weekish since the last time i updated .. for one thing, i got my first taste of freedom/independence/youthfulness when i hit up the city with the whole crew for gillian's 21st. 21.. holy smokes, i still remember having sweet 16s. anyways, contrary to what is the common belief about he-said-she-said -- i did have a good time; it all came down to being tired and getting in trouble. but anyways, yeah .. i don't know when or if i'll ever be able to do something like that again .. at least i can say that i did it once, at least i can say i reveled in the recklessness of my youth.. pulling an all-nighter and not sleeping and enjoying the company of my peers. =] so whatever you heard, whatever someone said, let's set the record straight -- there are no hard feelings and i appreciate the fact that i was invited and allowed to go and had the opportunity to exeperience what i did. if i could do it again -- yeah, now that i think about it, sure i would .. maybe i might do some things differently, but hey. you only life once, and you're only young once. so on that note, i had a good time. there you go.
so, really, the worst thing about being on summer vacation is that i have a lot of time to sit and think about things. haha. today i ran away from home -- only to jenn's house, don't freak out lol -- and had a chill out session with my cousin. i swear, she is the frickin bomb greatest in the world.. maybe you don't really get it because you don't really have family who's mostly within a 5 mile radius from you -- but my family rocks. did i mention that? i don't know what i would do without them. for all of the craziness i endure and for everything that goes on in my life -- my family has always been there for me .. even more so now that i'm growing up and it's all starting to level and i'm finally becoming an adult or some shit like that. who knows. but yeah .. my cousins are what it is, gangsters. they are by far, the coolest people in the world. without question. no one on this planet has my back like they do.. or knows how to set me straight like they do. so jenn helped me think through things .. i'm still a little confused about what i'm supposed to do or say or where i'm supposed to go with everything .. but hopefully everything works out. and when i came back from jenn's, i was glad that some of the tension i was feeling at home finally broke. maybe because i have school and work tomorrow anyways .. time to be responsible again .. ahahaha .. which reminds me, i need to cut back on the spending, people, because i won't have any money to go on vacation with. shit, let's look for coverage, no? let's! well anyways, i intended to write a really long ass entry here, because i haven't really been updating, but i guess, this is all i have to say. when i have more, you know i'll be writing again. but before i go, i hope you all like my new layout. =) i haven't changed it in a while, but since it's summer and all, i had to make a summer layout. yeah, it's kind of plain, but i finally centered the stupid thing after playing with codes for 2 hours. lol. i'll think of a better banner soon .. you know me and my fickleness with the layouts .. haha. well i hope you all have a good night, i need to freshen up and prepare for sleep and .. the NBA game tonight? or maybe the world cup. whatever, some sporting event. haha. catch you all on the flip side kids -- sweet dreams ;)



<3 to:
joe aka jopapa; oh mr. buble is quite awesome. "oh my love please tell me when."
christine aka the homie; oh love, you rock.
bestfriend in the universe jackie; i love how we can feel the vibe. it's nuts and you kick ass.

quando quando quando

yeah so i wrote this really long and nice update before when i was working my 8ish hours at the computer lab last wednesday but since the blogger server thing wouldn't connect with my computer at work, i couldn't post it up. sure, i could post it up now, and be delayed like that and fix the date to approximate when exactly i wrote it, but eh .. i don't think i want to do that. and it doesn't feel right to me since i'm like 3 days late. so instead, i'm going to start fresh, and start writing a whole new entry about what's currently going on in my life right now. it's been a week since summer classes started .. and surprisingly, on that wednesday, i wasn't feeling as dead as i was the first time .. so hopefully, i'm getting used to the whole 8hrwork-4hrclass joint that i have to pull every wednesday. i only have 4 more weeks of class .. oh man .. it seems so long but yet, compared to the whole scheme of things, it's really short. i'm lucky to have landed some summer employment .. this broke ass ho status is definitely killing me, and even with money coming in every so often it's hard to keep up this fast paced social lifestyle that i've suddenly got going on. remind me to stay home more often .. haha .. just to economize .. lol. but it's okay, that's what summer is all about, that's how you make the memories .. with the money that you don't have. hehe. hopefully the money i have saved up somewhere is going to help me out now .. and hopefully, i'll have some money coming in soon because i know i'm going to be in the hole for a long ass time. man! college kids really are broke-er than broke.
other than the philosophy papers that i'm currently putting off doing, there hasn't been much i can really say that might show some kind of excitement right now. it's mainly just summer classes and work straight.. and participating in a taste testing study. yeah man! i'm a human subject. the food sciences building on cook is mad fly .. that's what i originally wanted to go into as a field, but for some reason i ended up in pharmacy .. oh well, maybe later on i'll go back and get a degree in it. or not, who knows. anyways, so yeah, i'm taking a break from this philo paper that i'm doing. i thought that maybe, if i just let my ideas flow a little bit for a while, instead of forcing out what i think i should be saying, then maybe the second half of my paper will just come naturally and i'll be able to finish it up. then again, what have i learned best in college -- why, to BS things, of course -- and there i go, i just bs'ed like half my paper in an hour. cool, huh? though i make it a point to make it a good bs. come on now, i don't like half assing anything, even when i bs things, i have to bs it good! sigh. i guess school really just, never ends for me.. oh man .. this is what i get for being quasi intelligent.. damn. and there i go, if gabe were here he'd mockingly push up his imaginary glasses and poke fun at my use of intellect. i wonder if other people ask themselves, 'why can't i just be dumb.' lol. nah, i'm just kidding, i like being smart .. of course, people are quick to tell me all of the advantages. but right now, my smartness is kind of tired and too lazy to be writing about the existence of GOD and why i should be disproving the problem of evil. i'm thinking, yeah, maybe i need to put more criticisms up. i'm basically just, explaining what i learned in class. woopiee .. hopefully, i didn't just jack up this paper and forget to properly cite something or other. shieeet .. remind me to ask about that in class? yeah? yeah.

oh yeah! so you see those adidas sambas right there? aren't those just so sexy? it's such a turn on to me when a guy wears the right shoes. you can ask my friend eddie, i tell him how much his homeless shoes are homeless all the time. and then! he got a new pair of sneakers and they were so frickin awesome. so anyways, i've been doing tons and tons of research to get a pair of sneakers for someone who is the farthest from a sneakerhead as possible, and it is proving quite difficult. so far, i've checked out the puma "basket", the adidas 'stan smiths', the asics 'mexico 66' [a personal unisex favorite of mine. =)] and of course, the least likely nike dunk. but those sambas are pretty flippin sweet, GQ recommended them when i was looking in men's fashiom magazines for sneakers that were more fashion forward than exclusive niketalk worthy. but unfortunately, adidas proved to be a kind of uncomfortable shoe, much to my dismay.. which brings me back to my search. hopefully, i can find the right shoe.. and soon.. but then again, i'm not really in a hurry because it's not like i have finances to pay for this! lols. it's always nice to look. heeh!

so yeah, i don't really know where i'm going with this entry. next week is going to be pretty hectic and eventful and i hope i make it through in one piece. i'm kind of scared for it to come .. mainly because i didn't think any of it was really going to happen. but, i'm glad things are progressing the way they are, and my certainty will be validated when the actual time comes. but fo now, my planning will continue, and the hoping, and the praying .. to the GOD that i have to defend, which is all good. damn, i sure do learn a lot in college. philosophy makes you think and all. sure, i'm not contemplating the meanings of life all the time, but i sure do know now how to overanalyze things even more. great ! lol. remind me not to get ahead of myself. haha .. wow, i slept a whole lot on my way to new york city today and back and now i'm sleepy. darn! well at least i could write my entry and not feel like i'm tired or some shit. good, right? i just keep rambling on and on. ummmm okay i'm done. lol

511 is significant to me for reasons that may not be as obvious as people think. ^_^

that and i think i'm going to have another one of my many blue pixy sticks =D

happy graduation mary! =)

<3 to:
tim; yes! sushi and nonalcoholic beverages sounds fantastic =D
jackie; 511 is defintely where it's at. no doubt!

kindness is timeless

hello everyone .. so i guess since memorial day weekend is over, my summer has unofficially begun. actually, it officially began after the semi-formal, lasted 2 weeks, and is unofficially ending tomorrow. haha. i start summer school tomorrow, and work too, and tomorrow i'll be all over rutgers for a record, 13ish hours. what the hell ..

anyways, for the past 2 weeks that i've been off, yeah, it's been some great times. =) i was so excited, for the first time, i FINALLY drove to the number 1 party town of middlesex county, and the home of my number one ultimate the best in the best homie/homeslice in the world christine! lol. it was pretty sweet. i have been waiting for this moment ever since i got my license about 2 or 3 years ago. this is big for me man! MAN! lol. i was so happy i was probably happier than people who won the mega millions lottery here in jersey. [oh man, what i wouldn't do for that much cheese.. but anyways!] yeah so, i've had some history with sayreville .. a good amount, especially for someone who doesn't even live there .. and i guess it was time to bring everything full circle with my ability to finally drive there with no restrictions from my dear old parents and of course, with mary riding in the car as my faithful passenger and navigator. it's one step towards completion -- you know, where i get to drive there by myself. haha. and as promised, with the advent of my very first time driving to sayreville legally, we of course had to have a celebratory party with my homeslice complete with cake, candy, and other yellow items. haha. when i look at it sometimes, it's funny to have to grow up in steps .. but i guess that's the way everything had to be done, according to some demented plan .. but who cares, maybe i wasn't emotionally ready to drive there back in the day. maybe it was right to wait. maybe i would have done something stupid a couple of years ago had i been able to drive there. or not.. and i guess i'll never know. lol. it was nice to chill out in my homie's house .. i'm finally making up for all the times she drove to edison by herself to come and visit me. lol. and maybe sometime soon, we'll have the real big party. it wasn't as big as planned because i forgot the balloon. haha ..

aside from that, i've really gone out more in these past 2 weeks than i probably did all last summer. haha. movies, movies, eating, being a semi-mallrat, spending money left and right .. wow, this broke ass ho can not afford to keep up this pace for the whole summer. haha. and gas is pretty pricey .. it eats up like half my paycheck, and doesn't get me as far as it used to .. holy shiet man, i don't want to let stupid gas prices kill my vacation. then again, i'll be in summer school .. and then vegas .. so the real summer fun kicks in around august. keep that in mind kids! haha. and .. i guess .. remind me to .. say what to say. especially to my mom. she's a crazy lady sometimes .. joke. lol. and now that it's summer .. it's time to hook up with the family. i miss my family .. being in college and them being .. whatever age they are, it's hard to hook up and have stupid moments like we used to. i had one last friday .. it was pretty nuts, and i felt pretty old, but hey .. that's what comes with being the .. er, oldest-ish? and i hang out with the older heads and i feel young and underpriviledged .. oh 21 .. that's the golden age, huh? haha. but, my fun times fun times are screeching to a halt for right now .. because of summer school and work. oh man, it's so frickin hot in my house. man jersey weather, thanks for blasting heat in my face. i could really use a hose sprayed in my face or something. or have a water fight .. water fights are fun .. mmmmm ..

hmmm .. yeah .. i feel like i have stuff to say here but i don't even know where to begin with it. there's this part of me that feels like i'm addicted to crack cocaine or something or i'm on this demented path to .. something. i don't even know where this path leads to. i feel pretty demented right now .. this is more confusing than school .. what the hell! anyways .. maybe i'm just tired and irritated. who knows .. i have issues .. wow .. maybe i'm just overanalyzing things. because, maybe i'm just freaking out. which is bad. because if i continue to freak out, i might mess up something really good. and i don't want to do that. i learned from my mistakes about 4 years ago. i don't want to go down that path again. because .. after everything i think about, after everything i put myself through .. freaking out, and trying to match everything with my unbelievably high expectations .. i forgot to just be happy with what i have and with everything that has happened to me. after all of my mixed emotions, i still keep coming back for more. maybe that's the key. the fact that i still keep coming back for more. it's like hope showing me that, this is why i can't let this go. it's like my crack cocaine.. in a good way, of course. i can't even explain it! all i know is that .. at one point, you just look into a pair of round brown eyes, and that's it. i'm done. i melt. the fck man .. :scratches head: usually i don't post song lyrics, but i felt like, this is the way to best express things .. maybe? maybe not. or i could be getting ahead of myself..

I feel like you're the only one
I feel this loneliness undone
And I just can't see myself
Without me in your arms
If I had one last sunset to see
One day, one last deep breath to breathe
No tears would fall, knowing that you're… all i need

okay i'm done

511 ♥


<3 to:
bestfriend jackie; awww thank you! =) i'm glad i inspired someone. yay. ^_^
joe aka jopapa; mmm yay sushi .. yay ..
christine aka the homie; yay i'm glad you liked my entry. i knew my shoes would come in handy .. haha .. thanks for listening to my rantings and for being the clarity i always need. i love you too phenom! =)

no matter what you do

[may 17 2006]

eddie (12:19:30 PM): u have the best... blog...ever...... period
angelica (12:19:48 PM): awwwww thanks! =)
angelica (12:20:12 PM): i am going to save that and put it in my next blog when i write it
eddie (12:21:07 PM): haha
eddie (12:21:10 PM): no im serious
eddie (12:21:14 PM): its always so interesting and u write very well
angelica (12:21:25 PM): :flattered: =) ^_^

well, first i have to dedicate this entry to my 2 friends eddie and joe; because they always like reading my blog and ask me about it. espeically joe, he's waiting for my update. lol. sometimes i fail to realize how many people actually read this stuff.. you never really know the true number because not everyone leaves comments and lets you know that they came .. maybe they're shy to let me know how many times they actually visit. haha. i'm flattered, and you don't have to be embarrassed to care what i have to say. i really appreciate your visit. =)

anyway, this past week has been, well.. good, relaxing, boring, exciting, unsure, slightly tense.. just a mixed bag of oxymoronic feelings that i don't even understand anymore. as you can see, over there, i have a good number of sneakers. haha i know i'm being captain obvious right now, but when i was talking to my friend eddie he told about his project that he was going to do about shoes and stories and i thought that maybe i could use all these lovelies to explain and describe what i've been feeling, going through, thinking about .. and etc.

at first glance, what would you say about me? looking at the shoes i've put on, does it seem like it's been an easy road? does it seem like, maybe, if you took a walk in my shoes, you could do it .. maybe, somehow, they'd fit you too and maybe they'd match your pink on pink outfit to a T. or maybe my shoes are too tight on you and you can't handle it. maybe you need something more scandalously high that shows off your newly pedicured toes .. or maybe you need something a little more laid back and free. true, my shoes are still kind of new. but also, they're pretty broken in. maybe they're new because i care a lot about my shoes and i take care of them. or maybe they're new because they haven't gone anywhere to let them get dirty. to compare, my friend eddie, he has this pair of really really broken in shoes that he loves so much. they have holes in them and they definitely have been on the verge of replacement. but through it all, through looking at his shoes, you can tell that he's been places. you can tell that he's experienced the world and grown up. maybe, he's outgrown his shoes and needs a new fresh one to start on his new chapter in his life of graduating and stuff like that. looking at my shoes, my shoes haven't been beaten out enough .. maybe it's a sign that i haven't gotten all i needed to get out of life yet. but am i really ready to face what i've been meaning to face for the past couple of years? is it time for me to grow up and strap on the stilettos? everytime i think about facing it, i get scared in my bones. everyone knows, that, being me, living in these shoes, it's not easy sometimes. maybe i'm resisting the change. is it that i just want to take my pink asics and run? run, like i've been doing .. or is it time to take a stand for what i want. but then again, i don't even know what i want. in all honesty and fairness, i prefer my pink asics to a sexy pair of stilettos on a normal given day. they've never let me down and have gotten me to where i've needed to be ever since i got them. i love them to death. but the stilettos, you know, they scream the inner pussycat doll in me. the one that has the ability to just put shit and do the crazy thing when i'm out. i've gone so long picking and choosing all the different shoes of life that i don't know where to go right now.. thinking that, with these pair of shoes, it'll be different .. but since they're all dunks, am i just staying the same? is it time to move on? everyone tells me that it's time to have it out and just fight it out so that i get the freedom and opportunity to make mistakes and fun that i rightfully deserve. the freedom to trip and fall over my laces and step in mud and walk on sidewalks that i've been meaning to walk on. the chance to leave my shoeprints in places i've always wanted. but with the freedom comes the responsibility .. and somehow i feel like i'm ready, but are my parents? how do i get over this culture clash? [i put a pair of tsinilas here; hope it shows hahaha] so if you wore my shoes, could you understand? would you be able to stand in them and comprehend everything that i have come to just, respect..? these filipino shoes represent all the tradition that surrounds me everyday. i have grown to fear asking my parents things at times because i feel like i might just be wasting my time if i'm just going to get a couple of lame excuses which equate to no. or, make me feel so guilty that i try and convince myself of a no. i know, i've written time and time again about this.. and yes, the situation has gotten better as i've gotten older .. i keep thinking that maybe i won't have to face the confrontation and i'll just be able to do my thing. my mind's just a mess.. haha.. and for the first time, i don't think getting a new pair of shoes is going to fix it. i wish my parents could stand in my shoes for a day or 2. i mean, my mom wears my old nike cortezes around, but i don't think she's that great at empathizing where i've been. she straight up told me that she's really conservative and traditional and all. maybe i just need to put on these shoes and run. better yet, just drive away. haha. so where am i gonna go? i don't even know anymore. i know my shoes and i have been places .. places that i wasn't supposed to be at .. and looking at some of them now, they carry the memories for me and never have to say a word. in the end, i guess, maybe that's what really matters. i don't want this conflict, i'm really bad at having to deal with it. but who knows, maybe that's my option. just work with it. everything isn't as complicated as it seems. just like white dunks. they're not complicated. right? wow, where am i going with this now? haha. everything will be okay, i'll just tell myself, and my sneakers will still be clean. hooray. i think i just want to go out and stand in the sun with a pair of my shoes.

i went out last friday and had a good time. haha. i even got to eat outside for the first time.. i always wanted to do that, and even though i was kind of freezing, it was really nice. yay. =) sometimes, my parents surprise me with the leniency they have with me .. which is partially what makes this situation really delicate. because, part of me doesn't have as much of a case to present now because they say that 'well, you can't complain about not being able to go out because we let you go out.' and then, i'm out, and the rules aren't there to scare me anymore .. because there's no one to tell me no. that's what my best friend jackie was telling me .. it's like, there's no voice to tell you no sometimes, and you think you know everything, but then realize the stupid things you were doing that you didn't think you could do but did and now you're learning from it all. argh, something like that. haha. if i'm lucky .. maybe i'll get to drive this weekend. and go to a party. yes? no? geez, i think i need to keep myself occupied again so that i don't think about things. it really helped this morning because i just cleaned the kitchen. haha.
now, on a less complex and enigmatic note, i'm glad the weather has finally stabilized within the past couple of days. the sunshine really does make me feel better .. clear my mind .. and just brighten things for me. summer session starts in about a week for me .. and i kind of want to enjoy this fantastic weather. i don't really have any plans.. maybe it's time for me to be slightly spontaneous and take lovely joyrides with mary and whoever wants to come. yes, gas is high, but come on. let's enjoy life, as my dad would say. =) i miss my friends. i haven't seen them since school .. and i'm getting kind of lonely. going to asian food and etc. can only get you so far. haha. well anyways, i think i'm tired of writing. sorry if my entry didn't make a lot of sense. it always sounds more comprehensible in my head. okay lovers and friends .. till next time

<3 to:
jackie; oh you know i can't wait until las vegas. i'm too excited =D
joe aka jopapa; i think she's really poison now. haha.
eddie; thanks! =) yeah, the semi was pretty short. don't worry, i'll keep writing for a long time. keep reading too ^_^

let me

wow, so, yeah, as is in summer tradition [not that it really differs from my weekly or even day-to-day traditions of sleeping a little too late hahaha] i am beginning to write my blog at 12 midnight in the AM while i play some iTunes that i just wasted from the 15 free ones jenn hooked me up with when she booked the tickets to las vegas for continental. sweet. i could have easily wasted all 15 on the new sergio mendes album .. but nah that's okay, i only got 2 songs from it. haha. and i have 9 more to go .. so .. does anyone have any suggestions? teeheeh. well anyways, as you can see, i'm way overdue for an update, it's been 2 weeks since i wrote.. and for good reason too, i was studying for exams and had a pretty hectic week after that.. since i last wrote. after rutgersfest, we had the last day of class and reading days, which i used to, er, well, go to my orgo review, and study, and etc.. and somehow between the friday of rutgersfest and the thursday after, some sickness caught up with me, and i ended up with a fever of 102 degrees on that friday. yeah, so much for studying, i was pretty assed out trying to break the fever and get better. yeah because it was 80 degrees outside and tell me why i was feeling cold. as in, wearing a sweater in the 80 degree weather. yeah, them chills got me forreals. but it's okay, i got better just in time to do my 3 days of cramming for my 3 days of exams .. my last love affair with orgo was horrible -- we spent a whole night together and i forced about 80+ mechanisms and etc. into my brain for a 3 hour exam. shit, if i ever wanted to know what hell was truly like, it came in the form of organic chemistry and systems physiology exams. holy crap. but that's okay, i'm alive, surprisingly, although i believe my performance was less than stellar after those 2 days, and i was seriously considering summer school and praying really hard and having the biggest feeling that, you know, maybe i'm going to fail out of pharmacy school for reals this time. but, i guess GOD has other plans, and one of them involves staying in pharmacy. so there we go.. i get my grades, and happily report that i didn't get any C's this semester. WHOA! i didn't think it was humanly possible for me, but i guess, this gives me hope that i'm not a failure at life. hooray! and i would like to thank GOD, my mom, my dad, sam, gillian, carissa, phil, christine aka chrissy, divya, and of course, charles, for getting me through this crappy experience and making it better. =)

so, as part of my celebration, and though it was before i got my grades and knew about all this, i just had to make a new purchase of dunks. yes, a little retail therapy for yours truly to alleviate the pain of taking difficult exams. yes, those are the classic, white on white on white dunks with the wide white skater laces presented by teddy bear, ahaha. they are fresher than freshy freshmen and clean and yes. i just love them to death, i've been waiting so long to get a pair of just straight up white on whites since i got involved with the whole dunk thing. and now, i want another pair.. but alas, i'm going on vacation and kind of need to cut back on sneaker spending so i can blow off all my money over there in vegas. oh man, i'm so excited to actually be travelling outside of the tri-state area for the first time in 4 years. 4 years, people! it has been a very long time and i want to take this vacation before pharmacy chains me to new jersey and tells me that i'm not allowed to plan for vacations because of the stupid summer classes that i'm required to take. UGH SLAKJpa03wu5a;lwkgj, i'm just a tad bit pissed. haha. RU screw, like all the time.

oh yeah! so, since it's the end of the year, it was also the RAPS semiformal this past thursday. it was pretty funny that they held it in victorian manor.. and i was pretty sooped that i actually drove myself there, i felt like such a grownup. yay. it was weird to see all these people that i felt like i should have seen or known about in high school .. and to see a buttload of people i went to highschool with at the semiformal.. like whoa.! it was like a sweet sixteen except it wasn't anyone's birthday and everyone was getting way drunk. the bartender was mad crazy good that he could mix all those drinks .. and all i asked for was a sprite and a shirley temple. vodka cranberry, kiss my non-alcoholic sober ass. hahahaha .. but it was pretty fun, dancing with the drunk people, lol jk, and releasing all the tension of exam week and partying the night away. yeay! one can only wait for the next edition of partying for me. after all, i am pretty broke. haha.
well, of course, some random shots of the party to give you a feel of the atmosphere. yeeeaahh

party people =]

sexy ladies

and well, that's basically it. hahaha. and now, it's summer, and i'm pretty lazy every day.. you get so busy so fast when school starts, you long for a day off, and when summer comes, it hits you-- wow. you have nothing to do and there's no pressure .. so fast. and then, the boredom comes because you don't know what to do with yourself. haha. so anyways, i plan not to have a boring summer, but the only problem is that i don't have any money. lol. oh yeah did i mention, i'm going to be working at the computer lab over the summer? yay. a source of income! lol. but of course, this source of income can't come soon enough .. i'm already on break and in need of fast cash! haha. too bad i can't just win the lottery .. darn it ..

and and and, summer classes start may 30th. my last step before i'm an official 3rd year. hooray for intro to philosophy .. i hope this intro class doesn't suck, because for some reason i totally suck at intro classes. lol.

shit, i always forget what i have to say when i sit down and type this up. man! that's okay, when it comes back, i'll type it .. especially since the frequency of entries for me will probably increase since it's summer. maybe like everyday. maybe not, i got work son. hahahaha. okay bye .. i'm off to do .. nothing. =) good bye lovers and friends

<3 to:
joe aka jopapa; i keep hearing 'poison' like all the time now. lol. i still want some candy. summer candy. mmmmmm
bestfriend jackie; oh man .. 'can i ask yes or no questions?' hahahahaha .. =D you're the best. i am definitely writing a letter to you soon.
eddie; thanks for the motivation! you were right i did pretty okay. =) and yes, my camera was aware of your face again.. i just realized when i posted up my semi pics. lol.
star; thanks for stopping by! my finals went by pretty okay. =)

codigo

well, at least, that's what i should be doing, no .. yeah .. finals suck, i should be studying, but i'm such a lazy ass and instead i am putting up some usless information once again on my weblog. yeyeeeeaaahh .. tomorrow is the last day of classes for my sophomore year .. i'm so f-in old it's not even funny .. yesterday when i was talking to christine we realized that we were so old.. her little brother is a frickin man now, what the hell, when i met him 5 years ago he was 'yeay' high.. like short, forreals.. and now he's frickin big like a man, and he went to his sophomore semi .. damn, i still remember sophomore semi .. back in high school, back when abbygail couldn't talk yet, when she was 1 yr old.. and now she's going into kindergarten next fall.. the fck, it was that long ago? where did my time go? here i am trying to waste it away writing in here instead of using it to study .. oh wells, not like i can go back and take the time and junk to study .. argh, i'm so lazy, and tired, and out of it, wow .. i should uhhh .. drink some coffee or something, damn. and i still have to study for systems physiology .. oh yeah, statistics too.. ahhhhh books, go away, finals, go away .. a[wiyjwlkjtwl;a i want some bubble tea or something, my eating habits are so erratic, i have work tomorrow early.. like ass early .. damn .. i need money too.. tell me why the gas is like $12093182031982 .. can't even afford to go anywhere .. it's frickin equivalent to a pair of dunks .. for serious, like 1 pair dunks = 1 tank of gas .. that's sick. but anyways, so this is what i did in a nutshell, in pictures, because i am too lazy to write about it in a more descriptive, imaginative manner hehehe..

it was my last full week of school. man, don't you just love serc. yay classroom


me and homie are extra cool because we went the whole year and met up just about every week to bullshit around and have a good time. i love this chick


this is the junk food we basically engaged in every week


so then on thursday i had a change of pace and went to this snazzy office building thing with annie, leo and ml to dance slow tinikling and teach some little kids. what a snazzy room they gave us to get ready


and then i went to systems physiology and the power went out in the whole building for about 15 mins. me and supersam should have left. but then it came back on


and then afterwards i went to the SAC to go to FIC coffeehouse. i sure love being acoustic.. and JESUS ..


liz is the coolest. her stalker status is so on it's just acknowledged now. she didn't even notice that i took a picture of her. she was mesmerized by her boytoy's singing. =) lol

and then friday was rutgersfest and i was squished in the audience but that's okay because i got to see common, ginuwine and ok go. common is the coolest. some girl was grinding on me in the audience thinking that common was gonna pick her. silly lady. no one cares what you think. bwahaha. ana and tim were standing next to us too. tim doesn't like ok go music. lol. and then my camera was getting tired and the alkaline batteries i bought died on me and made my camera act like it had some viral infection. but it's okay now, i put the regular batteries back in. silly batteries .. and i went out to eat with christine and charles and we had some crappy service, but that's okay. i don't understand how i could get this slushy it wasn't even slushy. it was just like, wacked up miniature pieces of ice. it wasn't even like halo-halo ice. what a waste. and then i got home, and i was pretty beat. then i stayed up all night and i couldn't sleep. but that's okay .. because i didn't mind ..

and then it was saturday and i didn't really do anything meaningful with myself except visit mary, go to church, and try to get some studying done. especially practicing my microscopic writing for orgo. and then i stayed up all night again .. and i couldn't sleep .. it was cold as hell last night, i had like 2 shirts on and 3 blankets and i was freezing my ass off because we turned off the heat. i sure could have used some bodily warmth or something .. frickin new jersey weather ..

and now, it is sunday, and i feel like even more of a lazy ass. wow, i'm assed out from all of this good-time good-time. i guess it's sign that i have to go back to reality ..
hello orgo, i know you can't wait to enjoy your last moments of being my boyfriend. but i'm breaking it off, i've found someone way better. someone who doesn't make me feel like i suck at life and give me panic attacks. thanks for always being there for me, though, i could just carry your electric-blue covered paperheavy-ness everywhere i go, and for haunting me in my dreams with your carbon chains. i'll never forget you. i hope the next person you try to get with will appreciate you more. and actually like your benzene rings.

well, i'm done. good bye lovers and friends ..

<3 to:
eddie; i'm sad because you are graduating. thanks for being one of my coolest friends ever. =) i guess my camera enjoyed your beautiful face just as much as you enjoyed taking the funny pictures. haha. we definitely have to cheel again.
bestfriend jackie; oh yes. smooth like marble tile. or smoothies.
joe aka jopapa; too cool for school jopapa-ness, i would like some more sour patch watermelons too. yay candy.
marielle; nanay sure does know best. another shirt to add on my 'need to get' list. =)
star; haha, yeah, there are a lot of happenings on campus i guess, i just realized .. i actually don't go to a lot of them. haha. i just make it seem like i do because it's when i have interesting stuff to say. college is pretty busy during the semester.. especially at the beginning and the end. i'm glad you liked our 'uniform'.. haha


<3

there's too many cute ones here to be mad

quote of the moment;
kristen: shiet, we're f-cked.
this chick is awesomenessss. and we found those coconuts too. haha

hehehe .. well, anyways, yesterday, was the beloved barrio fiesta, and yes, i know, i'm like, totally early with the whole weekly updating thing, but oh wells, sucks to be you. hehe. after all the practicing and all the nights i spent at lucy stone thinking that, you know, shiet, we're so gonna die; i'm so going to look like an ass in front of 500 people. but you know, GOD really does work in mysterious ways.. and so do people .. and even though i really hate working under pressure, we always manage to do a fabulous job and kick ass in cultural dancing and et cetera. and as you can see, i just happen to accidentally be color coordinated with my free lime green tee-shirt that matches the lime greenness of my watermelon colored shoes. lols! and even though i was ass tired from doing the fast ass tinikling 5-6 times in a row, it was a great time. i mean what can beat being on fake wowowee with fake sexbomb girl dancers? who knows. though, it sucks that we always have to be so last minute about things .. we waste so much time doing nothing that we could have been using to do other more important things .. like sleeping! haha. but i guess, bonding time is important, and people always learn from their mistakes, or lackthereof. in the end, i realized that no one could ever take the place of my beloved RCDT .. we have been through craploads of crap together and have stressed a lot together, but have always been there through it all. i don't know what's going to happen next year.. if we're still gonna be a 'troupe' .. or maybe we'll have to disband or something .. who knows, but i've enjoyed the past 2 years i've been involved with it. GOD only knows what's in store for all of us. and i learned that making new friends is the best! haha. it just sucks that we can't make these new friends earlier in life, since some of the new friends i made are graduating .. i didn't even get a chance to cheel with them long enough.. and a good number of new friends i made are older than me. but maybe it's all part of our destinies.. and partially due to our circumstances. [after all, i am still only a sophomore, don't you know.] and maybe, if i met them earlier in life, it wouldn't be the same type of friendship or something that i enjoy right now. finally, i realized that i could honestly maybe not be an actress; some of the scenes in the play would make me crack up if i had to act like that. i guess, we'll just have to wait for next year's barrio play. and i'm gonna miss all the seniors/superseniors/older heads leaving .. i always felt like that graduating year [aka, the class 2 years ahead of me] was the coolest. even in high school, i thought they were an awesome class. don't even ask me why. haha. then again, i'll have a class 2 years behind me coming in too next year .. maybe i'll feel the same way about them too. after all, it is mary's class. lol. what else .. oh yeah. i just love a guy with a talent. especially if they make friends with me. heehee ..

well after all that craziness, and watching vince die and dante come back to philippines to see ana and go to his funeral and then ana sings and stuff like that.. the play ends and there was some junk fun after the show was done. haha. then, i was debating whether to go out afterwards and chill with the peoples, but eh, they convinced me to.. and who can resist skylark diner, my most favorite new restaurant of rt 1 which is right by my house that plays awesome club music that makes you want to dance right in the middle of the restaurant with the waiters looking at you and the other patrons wondering, what the hell is up with these filipino-asian people and their bright ass green tee-shirts?! hahaha. aye so! =) and i tried a new dessert there .. mmmm yummy brownie with ice cream. and french fries yeay! and then i was even more tired and then then i decided to go home and s-l-e-e-p while people went to get their drink on i guess? whatevs. haha. it's time to go back to normal now; i can't believe how fast my year is going by. it's already finals time! sheeesh. i guess, school tends to go by faster when you're older because not much physical or emotional change really happens between the years compared to elementary or even high school. though, at this point of my college career, i can successfully say that i have finally found my comfort zone here, feeling like i can handle myself and handle forming social connections with people and not feel threatened or overwhelmed like i have to prove something. it sure took me a long time to get to this point.. for so long i was so focused to just make it through school in one piece and live up to every expectation i held to myself. but i learned not to take everything so seriously .. of course i still want to do as well as possible.. but sometimes you just gotta learn that you're normal like everyone else and to not take your experiences and friendships in college for granted. because then you suddenly have to work and get old and may never see some of these cool people ever again. damn. which reminds me, i should call my friend jay; i haven't spoken to him in so long, i hope he doesn't think i'm a bitch for failing on my part to keep in touch with him. shiet ..

anyways, i guess this is where i'm gonna wrap things up. i felt like i had more to say, but then i went to sleep last night and i forgot it all. haha. sorry ! =)

yeay for the box step. it's my favorite move ..

RAPS barrio fiesta `06

um, the end.

<3 to:
joe aka jopapa; my blade of grass got stepped on and now he can't get his 36 mg of awesomeness. darn .. lol .. i sure could use some chocolate again .. ^_^
bestfriend jackie; hehehe. don't worry i'll have pics for you girl! and one day, i'll show you all the good shit. =) love ya miss ya!

if it's worth your while then say something

well, i knew that i was due for an update now, or else i would be going back on my weekly blogging traditions, and since i feel like i have an extra couple of hours to kill [this whole daylight savings time is putting me in a jones of what time it really is.. it was nearing 7:30 pm and there was still bright light outside] i felt like, why don't i just blog now, even though i don't really have much to say .. eventually, i guess, i'd just ramble on and on, add a few pictures here and there, and presto! i'd already have completed my task of what i wanted to say. or maybe i actually have a lot of things to say i just don't know how to say them. so i'll say them here. haha .. well anyways, so yesterday, there was a bunch of protesters everywhere camping out on the lawn on college ave.. and usually i think they're really weird .. i just think sometimes protesters are weird in general.. but those protesty-people are who really get the shit done in this world .. if you really think about it. there have been plenty a moment where i felt like i really wanted to change the world, make a difference, be a super hero to the less fortunate and the exploited, disrupt the realm of normalcy to put some spice and excitement into the world .. et cetera, but when it really comes down to it, i'm a pretty lazy ass because i'd rather be sleeping than joining the protesters and stuff like that. but if i don't do anything, and you don't do anything, who will? and that's the sad and crappy part. in our weekly/monthly/whatever mass emailings we get from the university, i found out that the massive budget cut that the governor is planning for this fine state of ours might potentially increase my tuition upwards of $5,000. now, yeah, some universities are already charging that amount, and rutgers is pretty cheap in the first place, but come on. $5,000 is a lot of cheese. like as in, A LOT. 1039810293810923 people go to this fine instititution of mine, you gotta cut us a break. we're known for good studies and stuff like that, can't you see that governor! HOY! i'm talking to you. i'm not much of a phone person, what can i say, but here's my part to the protest. i know we're in a deficit and all, but i think fixing the highways can wait so that we can get our education on! man! it's a scary thought to have your tuition increased like that in a hot minute. and of course, there are lots of other pertinent issues going on in our world, and granted, yeah, we should all take part and get involved and all.. but i guess, there's just not enough time in the world to do everything. sadly, some things must get sacrificed. sadness.. sadness..

this past weekend was holy week, all i can say is, YAY GOD! =) so i went to church 102938102938 times for it; even though it was getting annoying in the end [i think that's the americanized 2nd generation youth in me] i was grateful that i could church around with my parents; because probably this was the only year that i could successfully do it since i didn't have school Good Friday and all. so Good Friday, i think i went to about 12 churches, you know how the visita iglesia tradition goes, and then i went to easter vigil mass. surprisingly, my mom said that she had enough church-ing for a weekend, and we didn't go to mass on easter sunday like we usually do. so instead, we just chilled, and then, went to our traditional lunch at auntie josie's house with the family and etc.. spent 7 hours doing nothing, but i guess, that's what it's all about. yeeeaaahhh. lol. though i did have an intense session of fake pictionary with cherry to keep her company .. she sure does know how to draw a great fern. lol. and of course, one of the most intense scrabble games ever:

check out our gangster scrabble board. haha

and of course, saw my kuya jayson; i swear he's like almost famous. haha. and his spectacular shoes that he always flaunts [as you can tell, being partial to sneakers is in my blood lol] and his sneaker design that is in the making that is so top secret, i can't even post it up.

one piece dunks. yeeahhh ..

and after that, i felt my public-school-ness because i had to go to school the next day while all of my cousins/relatives in catholic school had the week off. oh well.. that's okay, i have practice for barrio fiesta, which leads me to my plug plug plug! lol.

so let's see, what are you doing this saturday? nothing? fabulous.
are you capable and able to come to rutgers university? you are? splendid!
do you have $10 to spare? last 10 bucks in your wallet? i love it.
don't worry, there's food that comes with the show. =)

editation!
here's the complete [as in, straight from leo LOL] information:

Barrio Fiesta

Saturday, April 22nd

Lucy Stone Hall Auditorium
Livingston Campus

Dinner & Show
Tix on sale @ 5:30PM
Dinner served
show starts around 7pm
Tickets- $10

i hope you like bamboo sticks and booty shaking. and singing. because that's what we do.
and there's some wowowee-type thing if you like that. hehehe.

so COME! OKAY! YOU BETTER BE THERE. i better see you! okay okay okay? promise?
pleeease [that is, with a cherry on top and sprinkles and wildberry nerds and chocolate chips!]

and well, that's the end of my entry. updation again when i have more good stuff to say .. haha ..

<3 to:
CF; happy 1st blog-anniversary! miss you lots!
joe aka jopapa; i thought i saw timur-uglyface at the computer lab and i was going to go up to him and tell him how ugly he was but i think i could have gotten fired because my boss was there. darn.
bestfriend jackie; you frickin rock. i love the 2am chats. "it's only 10:30 here." ahahahaha
star; haha those are my 2 friends gillian and marielle. all i can say is that we have very, very similar romantic histories. haha.

click click BAM

hiiiiiiiiiii everybody! wow, finally, i can finally update after my 2 weeks of bitch crapness. lol. i was gonna update a while ago but you know, i felt guilty writing a nice long blog when i could be studying. yeah yeah yeah .. but now, i'm going to take a well-deserved break from all of that academia. phew!

so anyways, this past week was pretty bitchin. if you kept up with my xanga, yeah, that's where it said all the shit. lol. the end of lab finally came on wednesday and thursday, and after all the stress from the 12093812093821 lab reports i had to do and the early thursday mornings trying to figure out what chemicals we were going to mess up wasn't so bad after all. once i get the hang of it, lab isn't bad. if i didn't have to write so much shit about it i think i would actually like it. well, i have one more post lab to BS to the max since i didn't form crystals in our benzoin condensation, but oh well. it's so hard to give 2 craps about lab when you take your exam before the last one. lol. but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. i got through my orgo immersion pretty .. err.. okay i guess, i hate it when i study hard for shit and then i get the exam and i'm just like, WHAT.. the FCK .. is this .. wow, it was pretty bad. then my parents scolded me and the computer for spending too much quality time together.. so i ran away from home .. to mary's house, of course. lol. and i learned that social relationships are more important than learning all my formulas. life is not all about books, of course. =) i wish i had more to say about this whole mega examination experience, but i'm really just assed out and happy that it's over. haha. anyways, i have class today, like usual, so the learning continues. haha.

so, besides all the learning and exams, i had some fun junk to go to. and though i have the capacity to say hundreds of thousands of words and tell you a descriptive story, i believe the pictures will speak better for me. haha. so this is where the picture heavy part of my blog comes in. don't worry, i'll be talking along with it. =)

well, friday; was my last debut of this highschool-college era! it was my dear friend nicole's 18th birthday celebration, complete with cotillion and all the works. i'm kind of sad, i missed the waltz part of the cotillion, it's like my favorite dance, but oh wells. i liked their modern best of all.. i guess you never can get tired of 18 kids doing a hip hop dance. again, too bad i couldn't be a cotillion whore .. you know what? i thought of, maybe one day we should have college cotillion. just for fun! hey, you all know you were in one sometime in your life. plus, it all gives us excuses to dress up in formal regalia. who doesn't love that? =) [click to enlarge the pictures ^_^]

the celebrant chillen and cooling down


nicole's baby blue/pink modern


the triple ex's.
what do these 3 lovely ladies have in common? ehhehe.


me and homie always manage to take nice pics together. =)


the other half of our table -- the theme family maderal brothers!
who of course, were gracious enough to take all of our pictures. haha


one of nicole's friends who thought he was cute enough to be in my camera. lol..
i however, look busted in this picture. haha


angelo and i after the festivities

the next day; was my ate's baby shower! wow, i can't believe she's going to have another kid already. lol. i still remember when my godson was born, and how we almost couldn't visit them in the hospital because my mom didn't have photo id and i had to bust out my ghetto plastic school picture id that got us in. yeeeah! but anyways, i felt too young to be at the party, i don't really get what it means to be a new parent, but jenn said that eventually i'd understand.

my godson eating lumpia


me, angelo, mary, and abbygail [ineng] sitting around


jenn's basket with the kick-ass bow i made


yay baby presents


cute!


what a convenient table. lol

and of course, the next day was crap orgo exam, and then yesterday, had more school. i met up with my filipino studies hard-core groupies [wayne, maryann, and ana] and we talked about how we're gonna start a revolution sometime soon. i hope this all works out, and we fulfill wayne's dream of becoming google.. haha.. and make a mark on this planet. it just sucks that the level of interest to get this pushed through only rests within the 4 of us, but i guess, it's better than zero, right? and i realized that this was what college was all about.. meeting people who open up your mind! forreals. sometimes i think i should have majored in sociology. i find it so interesting forreals.

umm, this was basically a picture entry. hahaha. all this stuff going on just makes me feel so tired. lol. this week, i've got practice today, and then it's holy week too. so, yeah, I LOVE GOD! hehe. church, visita iglesia, easter vigil [if we're in the mood] and of course, easter. mmmm .. easter candy .. easter bunnies .. ^_^

til next time, when i have something more important to say. haha

and for my friend joe, here is one of my nostalgic sweet sixteen pictures. haha

featuring my cousin alvin! yeah!

<3 to:
star; aw, thanks! i try my best to be sweet and loving =) haha, yeah, i'm trying to make time for myself now. all those exams were getting to me. thanks for caring!
joe aka jopapa; you're special you awesome KP you, you get 2 props for 2 comments. ^_^ everyone go check out his blogspot. yeeeeeah!
miss marielle; 2 for 2 for you too! ^_^ you sure showed me a good time baby! hehe. next stop -- the CLUB, son! h2O on the rocks is the shit!
bestfriend jackie; it's SENT! i'm not sure if you got it yet, but it's in the hands of the USPS. lolsss. let me know when you get it! =)

peace out kids!