Day 02 - your first love, in great detail

Many of you reading might think that Charles was my first love. Well, suffice to say, he is probably my first long term "adult" relationship, but not my first love. That honor, ladies and gentlemen, will go to someone who will remain anonymous, for the sole fact that if you don't already know, then it's not important.

My first love was someone that I met unintentionally at a sweet sixteen when I was in high school. Back then I was naive to young love, and was eager to find someone special because I thought true happiness came from having a boyfriend. (I later was proven wrong.) With my first love also came my first heartbreak.

We dated for a year and a half during my sophomore and junior years of high school, and even though he only lived about 1 or 2 towns away it was like having a long distance relationship. He didn't go to the same school as me, and our communication spanned online chats and late night talks on the phone. We barely talked about anything substantial, usually our conversations consisted mainly of "you're so cute" 's and "i miss you" 's and "i had cereal for breakfast today, babee boii!" Oh geez, thinking about that makes me want to vomit in my mouth a little. We saw each other monthly, at the mall, at intricately prearranged group dates with our friends. We held hands like kids do, and I got my first kiss.. the night of my semi-formal, when I got to slow dance with him for the first time. But I'll go into that for another daily challenge if I make it that far. haha.

He wrote me poems, and I drew him pictures, and I thought we would be together forever. We would talk on the phone for hours about nothing important and eventually I got in trouble because my phone bill was $300. I was grounded for a week and that was the first time I got into a major arguement with my parents and they finally saw that I was rebelling, even for a little. (This was before free nights and weekends, haha) He was in my sweet sixteen cotillion and I thought it was the best day of my life because my 16th rose was my boyfriend at the time. He surprised me with a dance and was the last guest to leave, and I thought, life couldn't get any better than this!

Unfortunately, my ambitions got the best of me, and his lack thereof, and in the end it proved to be the breaking point to our relationship. I wanted to study for my AP exams, he wanted to talk on the phone and go out. Towards the end we started to fight and that's where things went sour. I didn't know any better, but I admit I didn't know how to control my jealousy back then. It didn't help that teenagers make a big deal about nothing, and when you're missing out you feel like it's the end of the world. I didn't understand it, I didn't know why I was feeling so left out, and we got into a nasty fight before his junior prom. I was so upset, I cried for a couple of days. I thought I wouldn't be able to go to the prom anymore, and it would be a waste! I bought a new dress and I was so excited! :sad face: Somehow we managed to patch things up for the prom and it ended up being a wonderful time. I still have nice memories about it, and ironically, Charles was at that same prom and would not give me the time of day. LOL.. even though now he has to! hahaha .. but I digress.

Somehow in June we started to drift apart and things only got worse. Finally, during the carnival week, I was at Mary's house and we got into a really bad fight. Eventually, he told me he didn't feel the same way about me anymore even though I pleaded with him that I still loved him all the same. He refused to break up with me, so I finally mustered up the courage to break it off, because I said, "I can't be with someone who doesn't love me." Good for you, 17 year old Ang! It was a weird feeling to have broken up with someone and I don't know how I managed not to think about it the whole time. I called Jackie in Arizona to tell her and she said, "you lived your life just fine before him, you can do it again." So I went to the carnival with Mary and bought Zeppole.

That summer was pretty hard because all the people we would hang out with mutually started to take sides and I felt more isolated than ever. They would invite Mary (because they had eventually befriended her though me) and not invite me, saying it would have been weird because I broke up with my boyfriend. I was so upset. I thought, how could they do this to me?! This is so unfair! And I realized how shallow people can be and how maybe, they weren't really my friends in the first place. Some days when Mary shows me pictures I still have some residual bitterness that I've never really been able to express until now. I doubt she reads this or anybody else, but still.

Subsequently, during my senior year of high school, my now-ex boyfriend started to date my friend, and that's where things really started to get weird. Mary knew that she was only dating him out of pity and that he liked her a lot more than she liked him. It hurt me, because he befriended her through me because she was my close friend who was in my cotillion. There was a lot of odd heartbreak and turmoil, probably because I didn't quite know how to get over him, especially when I couldn't cut him out of my life because of my friend. People have said that it was a pretty shitty thing for them to have done that to me, but looking back on it now, I don't think I would've been as ambitious if I didn't feel like I had something to prove. haha.

Now that I'm done with college, I still see him around, ironically he's friends with Charles' brother so I see him at Charles' house every once in a while. My mom asks me if it's weird, but I just tell her that Charles and I have been going out for so long that I don't think it's much of an issue any more. Plus, I have my PharmD! So take that! haha.

I'll always be glad I had a first love in high school because I know that it's something that I felt I needed to experience during my time there. I know that I'm proud of myself for not doing anything stupid and for turning my experiences into something positive. I did learn a lot from being in that situation and even though Charles and I have our issues sometimes I remember how I have to be strong, and I think it's only made my current relationship better.