that's not my name

I don't usually post surveys here but ..



TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now:

1. When I saw that picture of us on your refridgerator, it broke my heart about how far we've grown apart .. I hope we can bring it back. I miss us.
2. Everything I've done in my life was to make you proud.
3. For a while I was jealous of you because you had everything I could never get. But now I realize that it doesn't matter, because you're probably one of the few people I know that will always be there, and I'll never forget that.
4. I'll never know what it feels like, what you're going through, but I'll always be here for your, and I'll never get tired of you after 6 years (and many more hopefully) together.
5. I'm glad that our friendship has survived the test of time.
6. You don't matter, but it still hurts to think of what you did to me. You missed out, and that's not my fault.
7. I had the biggest crush on you! LOL!
8. I may not be making as much money as the others, but I'll do my best and make sure you grow up right.
9. You're such an idiot! I'm sorry! I love you, but you're an idiot!
10. In the end, it's you and me. I'll stand by you even if the mountains fall, even when the sky turns purple, even if you get banished to the Star Trek planet where it's all snowy. I'll travel through space and time, dear. I love you.

NINE things about yourself:

1. I procrastinate like all hell.
2. I still don't know what I want to do with my life.
3. I enjoy a warm cuddle.
4. I've become more laid back than I used to be, and I'm cool with that.
5. I crack corny jokes and try not to take myself too seriously.
6. My mom irritates me on very few occasions, and we have a hilarious loving relationship that includes me annoying her on a daily basis.
7. I will wikipedia anything I don't know.
8. I have an irrepressable sweet tooth.
9. I practice smiling in the mirror.

EIGHT ways to win your heart:

1. Cuddle with me.
2. Make me laugh.
3. Buy me a 99 cent mocha latte.
4. Remember something we talked about in passing mention and act on it.
5. Pick me up and drive me places .. hahaha!
6. Hold me and hang out with me when I'm having a bad day.
7. Look into my eyes with sexy time eyes.
8. Have a stimulating conversation with me.

SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:

1. Graduating.
2. Finding a job and supporting kids that aren't even born yet.
3. What I am going to have for my next meal.
4. How much I want a nap.
5. Being broke all the time.
6. Charles.
7. The work that still needs to be accomplished.

SIX people who mean a lot. (no particular order)

1. My parents
2. Charles
3. People whose ringtone is "Call On Me"
4. Mary
5. Jackie
6. My Ate and Jenn

FIVE things you do before you go to bed:

1. Take a shower
2. Watch TV
3. Check my internets
4. Brush my teeth
5. Wish my parent good night and have good night call with Charles

FOUR things you’re wearing right now.

1. Free gateway T shirt
2. aeropostale boxers
3. underwear
4. scapular

THREE songs that fit your life right now.

1. Make it Work - Ne-Yo
2. Hush Hush - Pussycat Dolls
3. Lost Without You - Robin Thicke

TWO things you want to do before you die:

1. Take a vacation with my parents to Hawaii/Boracay
2. Get married and buy and Audi R8

ONE confession:

1. I was considering going to Medical School, but it takes (I think I should mention) WAY too long; I don't have the patience to wait another 10 years. I have a biological clock .. LOL

hush hush, i've already spoken

So I thought about doing the daily blog thing and obviously it failed because I am lacking about 5 posts. haha.  So I resolved that maybe I'll just blog as often as I can, as much as I can remember, because I'm pretty exhausted. I'm lucky that I got 2 days off of rotations this week because let me tell you, going to the city every day and taking the 545 am train is tiring. EXHAUSTING! And to top it all off, running an 11 hour day, getting up to 12 almost when I finally get home. DAG! But my proudest moment has got to be that I did it, I survived, and I'm still here. I learned a lot about myself and about how brave I can be, because even though I'm not in California, this is a lot for me. I'm a little bit closer to finding out what I want to do with my life; you would have thought by the 6th year I would know. Nope, still don't. haha ..

On a similar note, my rotation is going well.. being in a cubicle can get really mentally challenging because you're not allowed to take naps. LOL. Just kidding, but really, it gets pretty tough. I am learning a lot about a side of the pharmaceutical industry that I didn't know was as important as it is, and it's helping tie everything together. It's also very, very, very nice being able to walk around Central Park and Park Avenue on my lunch breaks with my classmate Paul. And getting fruit. I love New York fruit stands! One week is already finished and another week is starting .. 4 more weeks and then I'll be downtown. I guess this year will go by faster than I thought. I hope I manage to accomplish everything I set out to do, and I hope I get a good grade doing it. LOL. There's a lot of things in store for the rotation like meetings and things, so yay. I think I need to caffeinate for the rest of the rotation though, these hours keep getting tougher but at the same time I'm getting used to it. Oh well .. I still have to explore all the fun things at my fingertips! That is, if I still have the energy. LOL ..

There is still unfinished work that I have to do left over from the past year that I feel badly about not doing. I don't know if my research work is still worth turning in; Sam says it is but I don't have any motivation to do it.. except maybe guilt. I keep telling myself to do it but to no avail. Instead, I'm on facebook trying to connect to people because I feel like I haven't seen anyone in a long time. I guess you never realize how lonely you are until you are left alone. I wish there was more time, more opportunities, less work .. but I guess that is what comes with growing up. With getting a job. This sucks! haha. I think I have to give myself an internal deadline to finish it, then just hand it in, paid or not, to clear my conscience. I hate the fact that I'm like, escaping my problems, but I guess that's the way things go. After all, being on rotation is like, people can't find you since you're not at Rutgers anymore. Le sigh .. oh the high anxiety. 

I'm definitely excited for my off cycle so I can finally take a break and do nothing. My mom wants to go on vacation for a week somewhere and Jackie is thinking about coming out. I hope she does, and I hope we go somewhere for a little bit, because being in school from approximately August 2008 until May 2010 with no official break-ish is kind of rough. Off cycles are nice! YAY. 


Well anyways, I guess I'll be off  to reading my report and things and et cetera. I hope you have a wonderful Memorial Day! Catch you next time :)

sprinkles

Cycle 1, Day 1.

I want to blog about my rotation but I'm too tired to write anything. I'm sleepy and I have a pounding headache ..

Meh. WOKE UP TOO DAMN EARLY ..

Ran to the subway, ran to my site.

Then almost fell asleep!

Self reflection for today: Ang you are tired as hell. But you learned a lot! Kind of! Besides, it was only your first day. It's bound to get better.

k back to my show. peep you lates

i can show you better than i can tell you

I start rotations on Monday, May 18.

For serious?

I don't even know if I passed Neuropsych.

Sitting through my APE orientation they told us we have to write self reflections about all our rotations.

So I thought, maybe blogging everyday would help.

After all, what better way to get an insightful look into my experiences than by recording them.

Time for the rebirth of Angelica's blogspot. :)

we got the magic girl

OMG IT'S APRIL I DIDN'T EVEN BLOG ANYTHING IN HERE! NOOOOO!

WILL EDIT WITH STUFF TO SAY. MAKING MY MARK!

1/2 MORE MO THEN ON TO ROTATIONS! OH HO HO HO OH OH OH

CHECK IT!

Edit:

Okay so with the lull in time between my classmates sending me our Peds Onco Case and considering doing the other SOAP note in Neuro that I have to do, I thought, this would be a good time to blog. I've been doing so many of those damn SOAP notes you would think I'd finally gotten the hang of it. negative .. hah. I saw Neelesh today and he told me again how he likes to read my blog -- he reads my xanga-ish but I think maybe he was reading this one instead. Anywhoos..

The semester is finally, OMG, finally coming to a close and I'm 5-6 finals away from going on rotation. Scary, huh? Wowowee! I can't even consider it. I'm thinking about getting an iPod touch to amuse me on my train rides to the city every day and to put some expensive-ass Lexi-Comp software on it .. but we'll see. I'm basically flat broke and I spent my last dollar on a smushed Twix bar in the vending machine. Le sigh. Friday is Rutgersfest and I'm seriously thinking about hitting it up since N.E.R.D. is going to be there .. and you know how much my homie loves Pharrell. LOL .. I really want to go out and gallavant before I have to buckle town for my semi-cumulative finals. AND.. still have not caught up on that research. yeah ..

So my friends are going out tomorrow for their roommates' birthday and they invited me over to go. I think I want to go .. it'll just be tough because I know I can't drive while inebriated, and I don't know if my moms is cool letting me stay over their apartment because I'm going out to get tipsy. I always feel bad asking Charles to drive because it means he can't get as drunk and he only has a couple of beers. Poor DD boyfriend .. pobre .. LOL I really haven't been out in the hottest of minutes. My life has been completely taken over by the mundane. I think I find comfort in the mundane because it is safe to feel like everything is ordinary. If nothing crazy happens then that means that everyone is still safe, still alive. Adventure and craziness run the risk of danger. I think about it every day when I drive to school..

And finally, I did give into the resistance and joined the Twitter buzz. I don't even know what to do with it; it's like being friendsy with people but like you have to follow them? I don't really get that yet. I basically follow my homie and that's about it. I like it more for the randomness it provides. You know I love the randomness ..

Well anyways I hope you all have a wonderful evening. Back to the SOAP-yness.

♥

someone to set my heart free

Dear Roman, (the rabbit)

I am so sorry that we had a rocky start to our relationship. But know that you are a wonderful bunny, and I've enjoyed the moments that we have had together. I wish we had more time together to build our relationship, and I wish my parents could appreciate you the way I learned how to. Thank you for letting me pet you and for your crazy bunny hops.. even how you hopped out of the pen and I kind of freaked out. I'm sorry. You deserved to run around our house. I am really going to miss you when you have to go back to the other foster home. Fuck, I can't even finish this fake letter to the rabbit because it makes me want to cry..

--

So I got really depressed because my mother is so anti-rabbit that she really "WAS NOT OKAY" with having him here for the past 4 days. She was horrible. She refused to look at it or even try to get to know it. At least my dad pointed and laughed at it. I don't know if I could ever forgive her for being so mean to him. I feel like I learned a lot about myself and about taking care of others when I had him. It was hard work but it was rewarding when he would let me pet him on the tack while he was chillin out watching TV.

I think it might take me a while to get over it ..

i will never be your stepping stone

UGHHHH .. what a terrible time to be a pharmacy student ..

Even when you don't have exams, you have projects .. dumb projects to do, why? I don't know why. I'm not in the 8th grade anymore .. I rather wish I was, working with Jackie is sooo much more fun, making plays about Y2K. haha.

People in college doing group projects is no good, yo. Even if this is a buttload of work I'd rather do projects myself, or at least with people who have coordinated enough of a schedule with me so that we meet enough times and not half ass it at the end. No offense to my friends .. but srsly guys, we should have met a while ago!

My guy friends are really good about meeting, and about online chatting; which apparently is a very ingenious way of getting things done.

Recently I had some drama with a project that bordered on Bon-Qui-Qui esque. Ohhhhh I could have cut someone, for serious in real life. But I think being angry sometimes gives me more energy to direct towards my work, towards making it better because I know I can. But if I ever get screwed like that again I know I will cut a bitch. My mom says to let it go, you know, but damn ..

Anyways, I just want it to be Spring Break .. I hope I get to foster a baby bunny, because even though I don't get to go to Miami, at least I get to play with a baby bunny for the week and give it my love and attention. Yippie! Plus, I'm hitting up the city as usual with the homie for another museum adventure and waffle eating. Too bad we won't stay at a hotel .. I really wanted to check out that Dream hotel I peeped some time ago. Maybe when the best-est comes .. yeah? Probs .. like it.

Did I mention I'm going to go see Robin Thicke on Good Friday? Ironic .. don't worry Jesus, I promise I'll go to Church before the concert and on Holy Saturday too. and Easter. YEAH! Sucks if I have work .. BOO! That would be most awkward. Maybe I can ask if I can go into work late .. but we'll worry about that later.

Well time for bed. Good night, moon!

i hate this part right here

So thanks to Erika my cousin/niece from the Philippines, I got another survey which I am going to use as fluff for my entry here in my blog that I have neglected. School is a bitch, yo! In other news, tomorrow is Ash Wednesday which means no fish and difficulty for Ang and the Charles to find things to eat on Friday outings. LOL ..

Rules: It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag 10 people. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real . . . nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

Have Fun!!

1. What is your name: Angelica

2. A four Letter Word: Able?

3. A boy's Name: Alexander

4. A girl's Name: Ariella

5. An occupation: Astronomer!

6. A color: Awesome Orange!

7. Something you wear: anklet

9. A Food: Apple pie!

10. Something found in the bathroom: Aspirin [though it shouldn't be there! it should be stored in a cool dry place!]

11. A place: Australia

12. A reason for being late: Ate lunch late.

13. Something you shout: AYE NAKO

14. A movie title: All the King's Men

15. Something you drink: Apple-tini's hahahah!

16. A musical group: All-4-One

17. An animal: Aardvark

18. A street name: Avenue of the Americas!

19. A type of car: AUDI R8 HELLLLLLYEAAAAA

20. The title of a song: All this Love by the Simians!

CHEEEEYYYYAAAAA

PS. So I started working out and my hips don't lie .. they hurt from running on the treadmill!
But on another note, I'm down to a 13-minute pace in my mile! SHHHHIIIEEEETTT .. let's get down to 8 minutes! WHAT WHAT lol

you've officially been chopped and screwed

WHOOOAAA man, it's been 3 weeks into the semester and it's bananas! I feel like this semester is more about time management than actual brain-racking studying, but there's still shit that they teach us that I have no idea what is going on. It's cool though, I have off Fridays which I completely take advantage of and I sleep like all day. Jokes! Actually tomorrow I have another group project [again for the 120938th time] that I have to work on. What is with the group projects .. I feel like i'm in the 7th grade when Melissa, Jackie, and I worked together a lot and we used to make plays and all these other group projects. OMGGGG rainbow trout .. hahah

So as you can see that's my dream car over there. I swear I'm bordering on obsessed! I just think it is such a beautiful car. Not many cars I think are pretty but this one takes the mother something cake, son. Yesterday there was this guest lecturer who was telling us about a Pharmaceutical Analyst who got a yearly bonus of one million dollars! I am not even playing, yo! It was that serious. I was thinking about trying to go into that field just so I could buy my Audi R8 .. ehehehe

Anyways, things seem to be falling apart with my spring break plans [much to my dismay ARGH] and as much as I feel like I have a right to point fingers, I won't -- I"m just severely frustrated because I feel like a lot of the problems we're encountering could have been avoided had we planned this earlier like we were supposed to. I have a feeling I'm going to stay in New Jersey .. which I guess won't be so bad -- Christine and I plan to spend spring break in New York City tourista-style and get a room and watch a Broadway show. It actually seems like a really fun idea, even though it might be brick-ass cold when we do it. Oh well .. I love tourista-time in New York City .. yeppers. Still banking on Vegas or Miami .. maybe .. le sigh. I feel like such a lame-o college student who never went on spring break!

Well I hope everyone is having a good day today; <3 to my best-est for leaving a comment :)

blogspot is the new xanga .. or is it?

wow, everyone and they mama got a blogspot now? oooh girl ..

i been on this jones for a minute, now .. hello!

i have been a faithful blogspot person since `05. oh yeah. that's right. two thousand freakin five!

i take pride in knowing i've been on blogspot for this long because it's starting to become trendy like bobs and pixie cuts. nah uh, yo, i start trends.

that being said, people don't read my stuff anyways that much anymore! LOL. oh well ..

i still blog on this for life. even my xanga too! helllllls yeah ..

well a better entry to come laters, when i think of junk to write --



PEESH

great in 08!

I didn't do this in 2007, so I thought I would do one for 2008 to make up :) I am currently sick [why why why] and it's snowing outside! Oh man. Hope you all had a great year and let's get ready for 2009! Woots!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? I went to Arizona! :)
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't think I made any real New Year's Resolutions. Maybe just to study harder? Eh, don't really know if that panned out well, hah
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope, but 2 of my cousins got knocked up and are due next year!
4. Did anyone close to you die? Yes, sadly. R.I.P. to Raoul and Eric Viernes. :(
5. What countries did you visit? No countries, just Arizona. lol
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? More energy and a stronger immune system!
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? The days I went to Arizona?
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Moving on to 5th year! Chyeah WHATWHATWHAT
9. What was your biggest failure? ID therapeutics? LOL
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? 2 infections in December! UGH - pharyngitis and the cold!
11. What was the best thing you bought? A pair of boots, gel pens, highlighters, my new laptop case from TJMAXX, american apparel clothes! you know, the basics :) OH! a juicy couture charm bracelet! :)
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Charles and Gillian because they graduated from college!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Get back to me on this one..
14. Where did most of your money go? buying food and paying off my credit cards hahaha
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? going to Arizona and seeing Ne-Yo which ended up to be FEYO!
16. what song will always remind you of 2008? has to be:
- Closer by Ne-Yo
- Single Ladies by Beyonce
- and Hanna Montana songs!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder? I'm the same, just sicker hahaha
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? going out, because I definitely didn't do much of that at all!
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? I wish I did less being-tired-ness. and of course, less stressing out.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? I spent it at Charles house and at Mary's house.
21. How will you be spending New Years? Ninang Fely's house! I hear this might be the last Ninang-Fely shindig ever!
22. Did you fall in love in 2008? I'm always in love!
23. How many one-night stands? none!
24. What was your favorite TV program? How I Met Your Mother, and of course, Law and Order
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I hate our governor for cutting our school's funding and raising toll prices!
26. What was the best book you read? Facebook? Just Kidding! I would have to say Lexi-Comp!
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? the music from the Charlie Brown specials
28. What did you want and got? Juicy Couture Charms as well as an American Apparel gift card! and a Wintuk hat!
[what happen to question 29?]
30. What was your favorite film of this year? IRON MAN HANDS DOWN LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 22, had snowman shaped ice cream cake, shed a few tears, played cranium!
32. What one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? maybe more money, definitely more time!
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? very clean-cut lines and simple shapes, also navy blue and purple were the colors of choice! Plus I should mention I basically reused a lot of clothes that I already have lol
34. What kept you sane? My Pharm friends, my other friends, mary, my mom [sometimes], and of course Charles!
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? James Franco and Martha and Beyonce!
36. What political issue stirred you the most? The election of 2008 with Barack Obie! Who couldn't get riled up? lol
37. Who did you miss? My non-pharm friends because I never get to see them! and Gillian who is in London right now!
38. Who was the best new person you met? Actually that would be just getting to know more of my Pharm Classmates
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008: Never take life for granted. Work hard.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. If you like it then you should have put a ring on it!

santa claus won't make me happy with a toy on xmas day

Well it is officially the end of Christmas soon to be in about 2 hours and i guess in some ways this christmas is another sign of times changing in my life. Not only am I getting super old, but as an adult [almost hah] the presents don't flow like they used to, the kids multiply like rabbits around this time, and I continue to grow in debt. LOL, no worries, my friends, because this is the season of giving -- therefore, I give. :) In some ways this Christmas felt kind of special -- like when Abby [one of my currently 4 ina-anaks] came up to me and told me she loved her present, a Hanna Montana bead set that I got for her. It made me really happy because I really tried to get her something nice that she already didn't have .. she's at that age where she is starting to appreciate gifts. As I transition from receiving to giving presents, it feels really awkward -- I guess mainly because I don't have a full-time job yet and my cousins are out having plenty of babies to give presents to. My Ate found out recently that she's going to have twins! she then went on to tell me that I better be making a lot of money. Oh, man .. haha. This in addition to Jenn's baby due in April. :-O I know, right? lol. and NO NO NO, my uterus will not be inhabited by any growing fertilized egg anytime soon. No thanks, ladies and gentlemen!

For some reason as the kids were opening up the presents I kind of was already planning for next year .. sure, it's really advanced but I know with rotations and all I'll have to set up a definite budget and make a list of all the kids that I have to get gifts for.. as well as to remember the important people that deserve gifts as well. My mom was commenting on how "we must be in a recession" due to the lack of presents for older kids.  I think it's partially that as well as a sign of the times. So many different people come in and out of your life that it's hard to keep track of who should get what presents. Maybe that's why Santa has a "naughty" and "nice" list. Maybe regular people just keep a "nice" list. Sometimes I think of how I want to give everyone I know a present because I feel sad when I see people who don't get any presents. When I was in church the priest said in his homily that people tend to overlook what they need and focus only on what they want.. and forget to be thankful of what they received. I think that rings true, especially with the materialism rampant in Christmas. Maybe Gillian was right when she asked everyone not to get her anything.. so we could just focus on how great it is just to be together as friends. 

When I was in church, I realized that the best part of Christmas for me wasn't the presents. It was being in church, with my mom and dad, and hearing the priest say his homily. It was signing O Holy Night at Midnight Mass. It was taking pictures with Charles in front of his Christmas tree. It was seeing the look on the kid's faces when they play. It's everything but the presents. haha.

To be honest, sometimes I do get disappointed when I don't get what I wanted for Christmas. I never make it apparent, because I am grateful that I even got a present, but I think everyone can admit that there was a present they received that they didn't like or need. But all that disappointment goes away when I give the presents that I give. Because as cliche as it sounds, seeing the happiness in people's faces is a present enough for me at Christmas. 

<3 to my best friend, Jackie, and Ren for leaving me some love in my blog. :)

don't treat me to these things of the world

uh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ..

Wow, Ang, way to turn 22 on Sunday! haha. I know, it's pretty ridiculous, I'm going to be 22! That's insane. I'm trying to wrap my head around that fact and it's still hard to understand. I remember being younger and imagining myself at 22, yeah, I thought I would be more "mature" and this and that. Whatever, it's okay! I am pretty excited - relieved that my semester is finally over. P3/5th year is hard! I am not kidding! I do not want to sugar coat it for all of the underclassmen but Pharmacy School sucks. I am glad that my grades coming back haven't been so bad - B's! woot! Well except Onco -- but that's another story ..

Today I baked another Oreo cheesecake that I'm either going to bring to Charles' house tomorrow for Lisa's birthday party [actually it is also my birthday too! But let's not get into semantics haha] or I am going to save it for Christmas or my birthday. I haven't decided yet. It looks pretty good and I'm proud of myself that I'm getting better at making cheesecake. Hopefully one day I'll experiment with New York style .. it looks too complicated though for now.

It snowed today, so sadly Charles and I couldn't go to the city and see the Christmas tree like we planned. It's okay, I think we might go see it before Christmas hopefully.. I love New York City! I'm always like a tourist when I go there. Maybe that's why I love it so much, I don't have to go through the hassles of work or the excessively high cost of living in that tiny island. I really want to go to the Candy Store there that I love so much and maybe down to SoHo where I haven't been in a while and try and find some Asics. I love Asics! And of course, I'd like to have some pizza or something. Yum.

Tomorrow I have work, le sigh. I hope it goes by fast!

Well catch you all later. Sorry if my entry is kind of boring. Time for bed!

dim all the lights, sweet darlin

so so so, it's time for finals week and reading days and the end of the fall semester and i'm doing what i do best -- absolute procrastination! ha! and i thought it would be a good time to blog right now about everything i am feeling and to see how long of an entry i can write. tomorrow is reading day and i should effectively be using that day to study morning to night, for my 4 finals coming up. oh man, i am just so tired of all the studying. the crappy weather we've been having doesn't make it any better -- it just dropped 20 degrees today here in the jerz and it's going to be "periods of heavy rain" tomorrow. man. i have recently been feeling the residual complication of life and all i can do is just stand back and let it all swallow me up like a giant whale of some sort. 

i was reading my friend renee's blog about her life, and her questions about career choices, and of course if you're a frequent reader i always have questions about my career choice because it's the long stretch and it's getting just annoying and as sam puts it bluntly, "i want out." after all, it's not like we have a choice anymore. i've got 1.5 years left! that's it! 

plus renee was talking about some stuff about her love life and i started to think about my love life too. it's pretty crazy because sam and i always reminisce about how crappy everything was when we were in 3rd year [P1] and i was just sad all the time because i couldn't handle the fact that charles and i were fighting all the time. and i mean all the time. it was getting to the point that sam suggested that charles and i break up for the sake of my mental well being. for some reason i thought it was a good idea to stick it out, and now we're like happy like roses. well ..

today i called charles after work [because sometimes i just have an incessant desire to call him as if he is crack and i'm a crack head] assuming he was home, but then he text back to me saying he was in new york for some seminar. say what? since when? exactly. that is what i was thinking. but he insisted that he told me, which clearly he did not, i tend to remember large details like you know, where charles is going to be. and then i got a little mad inside because he didn't tell me. and then i had an epiphany. sam asked me today how did everything magically turn around from the brink of the end of the relationship to happy roses. and i remembered. because all the times i would get mad charles would think that they are petty which of course would make me even more mad. therefore ..

ang is mad ==> charles makes ang feel petty ==> ang gets more mad ==> charles still does not understand and gets more mad ==> fighting ensues ==> ang cries ==> ang tries to make charles cry to no avail ==> ang feels guilty and cries some more

 .. and that was a summary of my 3rd year in pharmacy school.. ha. but my epiphany was that we both came to a mutual understanding ..

ang gets mad ==> ang tries to get over it ==> charles asks what is wrong  

and either:

ang cries  ==> charles apologizes  

or 

ang says forget about it [usually this one] ==> charles tries to be nicer

issue suppressed/resolved, life moves on

and so the whole fighting thing gets avoided. 

of course i still have my moments when the forget about it thing doesn't work [like now] and i get upset and i blog about it. [3rd option.] obviously, there are always issues that tend to bother me that i don't really mention online -- hey, you never know who reads this stuff -- that recur but have to be suppressed for the sake of, well, saving the world. just kidding. well, saving my world. my imaginary world. sometimes i think relationships are too complicated, but it would be silly to give up on one that is humming along.. after all, would you throw away a dependable car, or a fixed plate from the plate store, or your favorite american apparel track jacket? of course not.

of course maybe this is all a result of the fact that i have time on my hands that i am gleefully wasting away by writing in my blog. hahaha. 

never gonna give you up

NO NO NO NO NO!

i got sick! SADNESS! dammit, i don't know what happened but suddenly i got strep throat yesterday and now i'm on antibiotics! LE SIGH ..

so much for my big plan for going to the city to see the pretty tree on friday! i think i will have to take a rain check on that and go see it on another day. :( it has been a long time since i have gotten sick with a true infection needing a prescription that i thought i would be okay! but no! i had to get strep throat .. damn you infectious airborne bacteria! :shakes fist: exams are coming and i totally wasted a day sleeping yesterday and my hospital final is tomorrow. i am still trying to get through everything but it is way way boring like to the nth degree even though i plan on maybe going into the hospital pharmacy sector later on. [tell me why the people at my local chain retail pharmacy of which i will not call out on out of decency for my profession was totally bogus and didn't process my insurance right when i so had been going there for like 5 years now. hello! like for serious, that's dumb!] i thought that i could just fight the sore throat because i thought it was just a cold and you know us pharmacy students, they always teaching us about resistance to antibiotics and the overmedication of the population -- i was like, hell no i don't want a prescription! i just need halls! halls halls halls. well halls not working anymore and it was getting increasingly harder to swallow! oh man. so yes, i gave in and went to the doctor. yay medicine!

anywhos, maybe i might go to the city after finals or maybe during reading day like charles and i did last time. hopefully i'll be better by then and i won't relapse from this infection! le sigh .. there was a sample sale at triple 5 soul too! dag .. but who has money to shop! i spent all my money already LOL .. dags. this is just OD! christmas shopping is beat and i kind of want to do it online so i don't have to leave the comforts of my bed. oh wells ..

okay maybe i should get back to studying like usual .. til next time!

you can have whatever you like

well well well!

it's the most - wonderful - time - of the year ..

NOT!

anyways, with the holidays looming i thought it might be an appropriate time to start making that christmas list of stuff that i probably won't get, LOL

no one ever thinks to read my blog! hahahaha but anyways, the economy is in the toilet so i'm not one to be picky with my gifts. but here goes anyway,

1. juicy couture charm [for my charm bracelet!]
2. photoEZ makeshift screenprinting kit or speedball super value screen printing kit
3. american apparel california fleece zip hoody or track jacket
4. american apparel unisex baby thermal long sleeve [in any color but asphalt or white]
5. the best pair of black skinny stretch jeans in the whole world
6. urban outfitters or groove brand sweaterknit boot in blue or marled color
7. nintendo ds lite in blue! waiting for the DSi :)
8. asics mexico 66
9. taboo board game
10. 9'' spring form pan
11. 12093812093812093 flourescent sharpie retractable or thick yellow sharpie hightlighters
12. asian gel pens from morning glory

what do you want for xmas? :)

monster mash [OMGSCHOOL;;]

i wanted to write an entry before october was over and i didn't have a month marker for october. so actually i should study pharmacokinetics, but i'm not, i decided to write in my blog for no reason. i don't even have anything to say! really, i could just bitch about school, like i always do, but neelesh came up to me one day and said, "i read your blog! all it ever says is 'pharmacy school sucks..!' geez..!" hahahaha .. okay neelesh, for you and anyone else who's reading right now, i'll try to talk about something else.

so halloween is coming up and i'm sooped because i get to go to a party and it's my work weekend off. i got a new job working at a LTC pharmacy; it's okay, not the super greatest job in the world, but it'll do for now and i could really use the experience on my CV/resume/whatever. it's an every-other-week jones so it's not so bad, it's just that the weekends i do work, i work 16 hrs 10-6/8-4. meh .. oh well.

[i still have research work to do that i'm so behind in .. AHHHHHHHHH]

so for halloween charles and i are going to be legends of the hidden temple contestants! my friends said that we should "match" [yeah, charles and i barely attempt any sort of couples matching type outfits in regular life, so i was surprised he wanted to go along with the idea] because my other friend who is taken is going as princess jasmine and aladdin
[*GIGGLE* *HAHAHAHAHA*] see only they could pull something like that because they are the matchy type girlfriend/boyfriend. but charles idea was pretty brilliant, and i'm a nerd who would go for something like that, and since we're too cheap to spend 50 bucks on a costume we'll only wear once, i made the contestant shirts for 5 bucks plus helmets we got at sports authority [that we probably will return after we wear them =X lol] cool, huh? i never been to a halloween party before and i'm not usually creative enough to have a cool costume.

when i was little i went as:

belle [before she met the beast]
a crayon [that looked like a carrot]
a surgeon
a clown
a mexican [i'm talking with a sumbrero and maracas]
a karate kid
an angel
person who has mental problems
someone from the 80's

-- and that's about it!

sometimes i wish i shelled out bucks for a complicated costume or was creative enough to be some of the costumes i've seen .. gillian was a sexy cop and tinker bell, and little red riding hood, christine was a devil [hence angel and devil] and i saw someone as the rubiks cube before, and ash ketchum from pokemon!

the strangest thing i found was when i found a costume for a "sexy pharmacist" .. now i know i'm a sexy pharmacist every day [LOL] but still! the costume was a zip up skin tight jumpsuit dress that came with gloves and pill bottles and a name tag that said "pharmacist" on it. dag, if you want to be a true sexy pharmacist you gotta wear a lab coat, heels, and ..

anyways, i think my costume's pretty sweet :) hope you all have a good halloween! don't eat too much candy :)

take me on a trip i'd like to go some day

it is the middle of september and i felt that i haven't really had the time [or the drive] to really sit down and write a bonafide entry for my blog, and i really wanted to get one in before things really heat up and i totally forget to write one for september. lately things have been kind of tedious with school and all, it will only be a matter of time before the work starts to pile up with the tests and the quizzes and etc. i've been on the job hunt more and more nowadays, mainly because apparently at this stage i should have a "real job" [aka one that has something to do with my major] even though the new american apparel store was one of the applications i sent out. hahaha .. hopefully something good comes out of it, and hopefully i'll be making just a little bit more money soon. i was tallying up the expenses of things i feel i should be replacing in the near future -- a new coat, lenses for my glasses, a new phone -- and i don't really have the funds to back it up. [i was going to get new glasses all together but i'm too attached to my gucci frames to give them up. on the downside my lenses are so scratched up that it's getting harder to see. haha] 

and with the talk going on about the economy looming toward a downward spiral i'm getting more and more afraid of how hard it will be just to live day-to-day. sometimes when i'm in the shower i think about my future -- not just graduating, but about getting married, having kids, putting the imaginary kids through college, and even about my retirement. some financial analysts say that i should start saving for my retirement NOW [ i know, how sad is that?] which makes me feel like for the rest of my life i'll basically be working so that i can retire. it sounds so sad and inevitable. when i think about putting my imaginary kids through college, i feel like i should be saving for them now! after all, if they choose to go to a private college [which in this day and age, a private school college education goes for about ~$100,000 at the very least!]  not to mention if i choose to send them to catholic school, plus the cost of living .. i know i know, all this money talk is putting yours and my heads in a tailspin. it makes me worried and sometimes i lose sleep over it! 

when i first started college i used to think that once i graduated all my problems would be solved and i'd have endless supplies of money to buy everything i could ever need in my life. but then i realized that i'm not bill gates and pharmacists don't make that much money. i don't know how my mom got through with raising me and stuff and paying the bills because i'm afraid that i'll be poor! and now with the interest rates high and mortgages crappy and this and that, i get even more scared, especially with the government already guaranteed to take half my salary. i thought that maybe i should work 3 jobs so i'll be financially secure. but i don't know! i know that i'm overreacting, but it is a scary thought you have to admit. hopefully whoever will be our next president will be able to make sense of our economy. i always thought that maybe the key to solving our problems was just to reset prices where $20 would equal $1 again and everything would be cheaper. but with higher wages comes higher costs and this and that and stuff. one time my friend vincent tried to explain it to me and it made sense but i don't remember it anymore! i should call him and ask him.

anyways, i hope you all have a good evening, i'm going to go study the renal clearance system, YAY

but i don't want to escape

OMGGGGG I START SCHOOL FOR THE 5TH YEAR IN A ROW ON TUESDAY! WHAT IS THAT!

can you believe it. can you freaking, shake-a-do believe it. i'm a 5th year! what have i been doing!? obvs something right because i am still in pharmacy school! whoa! who does that! anyways, my unofficial last kid-summer is coming to a close and i am going to go see ne-yo for labor day weekend! how festive! [in the words of jeremy: "mom what's ne-yo?"] ne-yo, the one who sings hits such as closer and sexy love and so sick! yes! him! and FYI if you're not busy he'll also be on the today show! woooooooots to the max. well this summer has been interesting to say the least, at the same time boring, relaxing, tiring, cheesy, burgers, and most importantly a learning experience!

i am excited to see my friends back in school again because after being with them 24/7 for the past 2 years i grow to miss them. but i am going to miss the lazy days of summer and the opportunities to hang out with charles and watch tv whenever we feel like it. hopefully i also can get another part-time job to support my spending habits, minimal as they are, the cost of living frugally is also going up. i am glad that i got to go to the beach this past week [my last week off before school] where the water was warm in the jersey shore and the waves were beastly!

also now there is american apparel in my local mall and i feel like i am going to buy more and more clothes from there. i love it, i wonder if it really fits in the land of abercrombies and american eagles. whatever the case, i love it! i hope it stays! i actually applied for a job online.. LOL

well i hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable labor day weekend! heart heart heart!

insert sound of olympic theme here

OMG I AM SOOOOO SUPER SLEEPY!
THANKS ALOT MICHAEL PHELPS!

i have been watching michael phelps for the whoooole week almost every night since the olympics started! now i am not usually a sports fan but i love love love the olympics. and michael phelps is a beast! it is pretty crazy because i have rotations every day which i wake up at 530 in the morning to go to. and since primetime is the time when the best things are on, i want to stay up late and watch it! crazy stuff! i didn't think michael phelps was gonna go for 7, but he did! OMG 8 is just bananas. totally bananas. and i am so glad nastia won! goooo nastia! nastia and shawn johnson were the american team. they competed in everything! it is only natural they go 1-2 respectively! trizzzzz. but now i am going to skip out on friday night festivities to sleep. i am sooooo sleepy.

one more week of rotations to go! i could not be any happier. though my time at the hospital has been well spent and i have been learning so much. i like hospital pharmacy, i guess mainly because i was lucky enough to get a really nice hospital with all nice people in it -- it's either hospital or target. LOL. still waiting on industry, hehe.

anywhoots, i'm even too tired to write a full thought on this blog, so i'll continue tomorrow. good night everyone! enjoy the olympics! i'm going in 2012, who's down? london town here i come! :)