insert sound of olympic theme here

OMG I AM SOOOOO SUPER SLEEPY!
THANKS ALOT MICHAEL PHELPS!

i have been watching michael phelps for the whoooole week almost every night since the olympics started! now i am not usually a sports fan but i love love love the olympics. and michael phelps is a beast! it is pretty crazy because i have rotations every day which i wake up at 530 in the morning to go to. and since primetime is the time when the best things are on, i want to stay up late and watch it! crazy stuff! i didn't think michael phelps was gonna go for 7, but he did! OMG 8 is just bananas. totally bananas. and i am so glad nastia won! goooo nastia! nastia and shawn johnson were the american team. they competed in everything! it is only natural they go 1-2 respectively! trizzzzz. but now i am going to skip out on friday night festivities to sleep. i am sooooo sleepy.

one more week of rotations to go! i could not be any happier. though my time at the hospital has been well spent and i have been learning so much. i like hospital pharmacy, i guess mainly because i was lucky enough to get a really nice hospital with all nice people in it -- it's either hospital or target. LOL. still waiting on industry, hehe.

anywhoots, i'm even too tired to write a full thought on this blog, so i'll continue tomorrow. good night everyone! enjoy the olympics! i'm going in 2012, who's down? london town here i come! :)

GO

well hello blog! i thought that it might be time for another angelica update to this weblog of mine because, although i've been slacking this whole summer i haven't got the mental ideal to write something in here. but now, with a little bit of picture form of what has been one of the few highlights of my summer -- charles weekly [kind of] basketball games! now i've been going to most of his games ever since i got the opportunity to; this is like charles 4rd season doing this and i only started going during the middle of the 2nd season. i know i'm a veteran! but of course someone has to do the cheering and what better than the cheerleading/family/friend/girlfriend squad to do it. yeah!

this is from when charles and i went to sonic in june

note the product placement

charles sure knows how to work the bench, awww.

carissa and i dutifully pay attention, most of the time. big red heart pointing motion! HAHA

men in action. note #23 is carissa's favorite.

look at the form! wonderful. :)

on a sad, extremely depressing note: i lost my beautiful wonderful heart shaped diamond filled necklace of 1.5 years! SO EXTREME, TEARFILLED SADNESS TO THE X100000 POWER. i have searched high and low in my house and it is nowhere to be found! thanks to my unreliable memory i don't remember the last time i wore it, only that the last time i saw it, it was on my dresser on ~wednesday-ish. i am so so so sadness. LE SIGH .. i hope and pray that someday it will turn up when i'm not looking for it.. help!

EDIT: I FOUND IT! YAY!

other than that my summer has been filled with boredom and relaxation, and brokeness. rotations start in ~1 week and it's bananas! i hope that i do better than good!

mad loves to the homie, gillian the fish who is in england right now, and my best friend who is currently making tons of slave architect models. chyeah!

till next time, when i have more interesting things and pictures to share. good night everybody!

donuts

so according to money magazine's best places to live 2008, my hometown of edison, nj is ranked as the 35th best place to live this year! hahaha. i find that kind of hilarious, yet i am a little bit proud. i mean what other town is shaped like a donut and has menlo mall in it as well as ~5 of the major highways going through it? no sir-ee bob. anyways, just wanted to let you know. till lates :)

someone i can talk to, someone who'll really listen

so it is june and i feel like i should write another blog! i should really be doing my work-from-home but i don't know why .. something feels like it's missing but hopefully i can get my act together soon. i blame the heat but i know that is one lame-ass excuse. i can blame the summer but that's another one too. hah. anyways .. so how has the summer of 2008 been going? pretty good so far, except with the whole, broke-college-student thing. but even that isn't so bad .. i feel like being broke is better than being over-occupied because i hate missing out on things. i rather like to have the opportunity and then skip out than never have the chance. nah mean? anyways, this is probably the last summer i can act like a kid so i am trying to take advantage of it before i have to act like an adult. and it's been fun!

oh so you know what? though it was supposed to be the same as last year, i forgot to write a post for mine and charles 2 year anniversary! i know! how freaking long is that? pretty! pretty freaking long! lol. but i have been [as my friends sometime imply] disgustingly happy [lol] these past months/years/weeks/whatever, and for good reason! when i talked to sam she was saying, "i am so glad that you are happy now, remember last year?" i don't like to disclose my problems too much online - i know, the irony, i have a blog - but let's just say things were a lot rockier than they are now. and some people thought that things should be otherwise, but perseverance and patience are worth it, because i enjoy the disgusting happiness. haha. i think i can speak for the both of us - me and charles - that we have had it pretty good. yeah! YEAH FOR US! YEAH YEAH YEAH! :) :) :) :) so to charles, my loving boyfriend, thank you for loving me for me. because i love you! YEAH! awesome! :D of course, we are not perfect, we still have our you-are-annoying-me moments, and i like those too. sometimes being happy all the time is irritating too. i know this sounds weird but sometimes i think it is good that i cry sometimes when things are too happy-happy because it lets me know that things are still real, still not super perfect. and i like not perfect. =] i like charles!

so because 2 years is a pretty big milestone, we have to celebrate it good, so charles and i spent 2 days doing fun stuff! we had "french" food in metuchen in cafe paris and i cheered for him because he had a basketball game! and then the day after we celebrated and went to the city and had an adventure. we [well, mostly me hah] went shopping and i bought shorts and an american apparel dress [AHHHH THE BANDEAU DRESS I LOVE IT I COULD WEAR IT TO EVERY PARTY I GO TO LOL] and we went to the NYC public library! charles was making fun of me because i couldn't recall the details of the sex and the city movie [you know, the part where carrie doesn't get married to big there] but it is such a nice library! charles and i thought that college was like studying in the NYC public library with all the uniform tables and stacks of books and the old fashioned lamps. but it's not like that at rutgers .. not even at alexander .. haha. after we went to rockefeller plaza and to la maison du chocolat where it is like gucci of chocolates. like 7 bucks for 3 pieces. dag. then we went to times square where there is a shirt that says "hello kitty and the city" at the sanrio store but it is severely overpriced. and the m&m's store and the nba store .. oh we are such tourists. there are so many! and we ate at trattoria trecolori [as recommended by charles bff buddy for life brian] where they grill chicken with fetuccine alfredo and it is the best grilled chicken that i have ever tasted in my life. go to that restaurant! i know i want to go back there and just order grilled chicken and pasta. YUM x 12093810293.

so now i am sitting at home and there is a massive heat wave and we just had a mini thunderstorm. i am so excited because i will be visiting sunny phoenix, AZ in 2 1/2 weeks! woots! 

well i hope you like my blog! heart heart heart!

and i just can't pull myself away

turn the lights off in this place

and she shines just like a star

and i swear i know her face

i just don't know who you are

turn the music up in here

i still hear her loud and clear

like she's right there loud and clear

for background information, please refer to the entry dated 2/16/08. lol

so i have done my share of facebook looking around, and this and that, and i was a little sad that i didn't get invited to the party of someone from parlin even though i don't even really know whose party it is .. but anyways --

i was looking at pictures of charles because he got invited to the party and i felt so old! well not because of charles but because the celebrant [after me and mary did some thinking] was one of the little elementary school OLV kids we used to know back in the day when the goal of hanging out was to hang out in parlin. not so much anymore, since i've been in college my circle has shifted to people who are going to push drugs rather than pop-and-lock and live in sayreville. [well, except for charles. charles is an exception! and homie! homie is another exception!] anyways, the celebrant used to always say to me back in the day when homie [also known as christine] would have parties and i would get invited or when i would see them in random get togethers. even at charles parties! i feel so awkward sometimes still even though charles and i have been going out for one year, 11 months, and 3 weeks and even though the past has been put behind me for quite some time now, it still makes me feel that uneasy feeling once in a while. i don't even know if she knows my name anymore, or who i am, or what i do, or anything. johan's little brother still remembers me most of the time, and when i met him, he was 7 or 8. he's so super big now, and he dances - way better than his brother i should say! [HAHA, =P but it's true!] i once said a long long time ago in the past that if i was 8 years younger and in jarryl's grade i would sooo have the biggest crush on him. i bet a bunch of girls do right now. hahaha. props to him for that. 

thinking about all this sweet sixteen stuff made me think about my own cotillion .. 5+ years ago now! wow that's serious. some it are just faded memories now [i think that's for the best, lol] and some things you can't forget. like the lizard lady! i didn't even know she was until after, i think it was because i was so busy being the celebrant. i miss my friend kristine because she moved to texas after being in my cotillion. we always planned that if i was going to have a cotillion, she would be in it! and i miss my friend marielle .. who moved to massachusetts after she graduated high school. le sigh .. but i still get to see her every now and then when she comes down to jersey. 

well i hope you like my entry because since it is summer i actually have time to think about things and write them in my blog. PEEEASE

push pills not buttons! JOKE JOKE JOKE :)

i really want to come kick it with you

so it is finally, finally summer break and i fake graduated [because my status as a rutgers undergrad has changed to "grad student" - i even have to get a new card and junk and i have no more merit financial aid =( ] and i am happily enjoying doing nothing! well first i had an initial panic attack because we didn't have anything to study for and i was feeling antsy .. but i finally got my flow on and the first couple of days have been a little busy!  it was charles basketball game on thursday which was a lot of fun even though his team lost. afterwards we went to applebees to engage in some inexpensive food and stay out a little bit late - the first time in a long time! it was a little weird because there was more of a crowd at the basketball game than there usually is - i am so used to going to the game and it would usually be only me and charles dad and brother watching. but now i get to watch with carissa because her favorite romeo is on charles team too. yay! i also had to make chocolate lollipops right after my last exam on wednesday for isabella's christening .. that is the first and last time i will ever think about making chocolate lollipops as a favor for any party ever in my life. it was funny because donald was actually the one making the lollipops instead of jenn - even though jenn was the one who called me to ask me to make them and they were her idea in the first place. oh man. and then on saturday it was isabella's actual christening party and it was quite fun! who knew you could have alcoholic drinks in the early afternoon for a christening party.  i got to attend to my ninang duties once again .. so now my godchildren count is up to 4. i know .. it's pretty sick nasty. christmas is going to be one crazy holiday for me again. haha. and of course i am playing mariokart a whole lot now that i have the time to and i hope to unlock a lot of things over this summer. but i am not that great at video games and i proud of myself that i unlocked king boo because he is my faves. well, next to yoshi who is everyone's faves. oh did i mention i also baked some cupcakes? i am so proud of them because i baked them allllll by myself with no help [or should i say meddling] from my mom or anyone whatsoever. soon i will make cupcakes from scratch and not from the box. and they look pretty cool too! yay. at least i can bake cupcakes and they don't come out messed up. this thursday it is charles and gillian's graduations so it will be a busy day for me. i wish i was graduating too for real so i could wear a cool cap and gown but i guess my time will come eventually. le sigh. well anyways, i guess i should get ready for more hang out time with charles. yay.

♥ to my best friend in the whole wide world, jackie! :)

allow me to get you right

UGH I HATE FINALS .. finals are the worst. i have been studying like a nutjob for the past week and i've only taken one and i have 3 to go. well, this isn't the first time i've had 3 finals in a row .. the last time i had 3 exams in the same week this semester i bombed them all. yikes .. well hopefully this won't be so bad. i do have whole days to cram in between .. a good sign, because who doesn't love cramming more than pharmacy students. [i do have my limits, you know, after all i don't pull all nighters.] after that it's home free, i hope, and my 4th year will be over. on another note, today was mother's day and i spent it making my mom go over drugs with me again. aren't i such a great daughter? lol. however it did backfire when my mom took it as an opportunity to march into my room during one of my breaks and subsequently proceed to force me to go over my drugs when i didn't want to. ang was not a happy camper at all. but i had to, for the sake of my mom, for the sake of me, and the sake of my grade. and what mother doesn't love quality time with her kid. forreal. but i was unhappy that i didn't get to make the cupcakes i was dying to make this weekend due to some unforseen circumstances which i shall not go over due to the apparent nature of the situation. [really it's not that serious but for the record let's cover our bases.]

today i realized that charles won't be here next semester to study with me at the library when/if i go into 5th year [p3] next year. it's a little sad but it's a new step in all of our lives .. and i think we've gradually eased into it this year since he had all his classes on the other campus all the way on the other side of town from the campus that i have my classes on. it's all good i guess. i'm just banking on making it to 5th year .. wow, how scary is that. 5 years in college and i'm still alive? damn.

anyways i should really be reviewing/sleeping etc etc instead of blogging but i haven't blogged anything this month and you know i'd like to have an entry for may or something. too bad blogging won't pay the bills like pharmacy does, and too bad no one really reads this after being on it for 3 years now. lol.

well i hope you all have a wonderful week today. i sure will after may 14 .. holler.

shouts to jopapa - who i have yet to send my mariokart friend id # to. after finals it is soooo on like honey dijon!!!

chang chang and bring it over there

mario kart image would be here ..

i am addicted to mario kart for wii! ahhhh i play it religiously.
it just annoys me that everything has to be unlocked to fully get everything out of the game. UGH! i don't have time for this haha. daaag ..
hopefully i can finish getting everything out of it this summer. yay. and learn how to drag correctly!

stupendous hippopotami

hello, i currently writing in my blog because i have the time to do so!

this past weekend was the first weekend that i didn't have to study for a test! [but i ended up studying for medchem anyway which is 2 weeks away]

but i would like to show you how my day has been going today.

today i went to pharmacology early! and dr. hughes was there [but he is not our pharmacology professor but oh well you get the point.]

class attendance is down during the end of the semester! but people starting coming a lot at the end. yeah!

this is dexter and we ate lunch today!
dexter's superpower theory: he wants to have meat vision. ask him for details

sam is bored that we don't have any studying to do. she is perplexed

we still have one more class to do which is intro pk .. UGH

anyways, have a sunny day!

i've tried every remedy and nothing seems to work for me

do - do you got a first aid kit handy?
do - do you know how to patch up a wound?
tell me, a - a - a - are you, are you patient, understanding, cause i might need some time to clear the hole in [something something,]

OH MM GEEZ i am so addicted to this danity kane song and i don't know why. i have already played it like 10 times in a row. it's that serious.
[note: christian siriano may have "fierce" as a catchphrase but mine is definitely "serious." hahahaha .. i say that with everything! it's gotten so bad that my mom said "this is serious" when we were out of eggs and milk. wow .. hahahah]
anyways, i have just survived one of the worst test-taking weeks in my entire life -- 3 exams in one week! WTF, and i definitely, DEFINITELY failed my biopharm-kinetics exam. IN ALL SERIOUSNESS. i had no idea what the f-ck was going on in that shit! [i'm trying to cut down on f-bombs, hah] damn, i so forgot it all right before the exam.
ANG, we really have to work on your memory skills before exams. no more blanking out!
well, the pressure is definitely on now to bang out some good stuff on finals [ugh] but oh well. let's just hope i can pull out all the stops. like damn!

now that it's not lent and i was utterly bored this afternoon i definitely got back into my wikipedia jones. man! i need to get over that stuff.
i'm slowly trying to accustom my distaste for facebook, but still have enough that i don't check it everyday. i think it was because i was so super bored today. DAGs ..

anywhoots, i hope you enjoyed the little slice of my life!
2 more exams! UGH!

then finals! DOUBLE UGGGHIES

ps. i would really like to start an invitation printing company. haha

shouts to the best a.k.a future architect, jackie!

easter bunny

after all those weeks of cleansing my soul by giving up facebook, 

finally easter is here and i went on it for the first time in 40 days and tried to sort through all of the garbage that cluttered my account.

now i remember why i gave it up in the first place,

i think i'm giving up facebook again for a long time.

since it's not lent anymore and i have the freedom to go on facebook whenever i want,

i feel like my life is a lot better without it. i feel like i have evolved [is that the word i want to use?] into a newer, better, more self enriched person.

social networking is overrated and i do get myself into a lot more mental and emotional trouble when i look at it.

after all, why should i care what people send me or tell me?

you know you could always just message me directly. lol.

so now, on this easter sunday, i am giving up facebook again. this time, it's not because of self sacrifice. it's for a bigger, more enriching purpose.

there will come a time when i will probably deactivate my account because i will be a grown up [for real] and i will need a clean slate for when i start applying for big people jobs.

but for now, as i continue to "prolong my youth" as sam calls it, 

i'll take this growing up thing one step at a time. and i guess, cutting the facebook stuff out of my life is a step in the right direction.

to be honest, logging into it felt really weird and out of character.

maybe i'm just being maarte [over-acting]

but it's the truth. anyways, i guess this is enough of my rambling.

i am going to look up how to make easter rabbit ears for when i be a silly ninang and be an easter bunny and give out eggs to the kids. lol

happy easter friends!

iANG

dag, this was the hardest thing to edit. lol

i still want to get rid of that trackbacking thing .. ugh, it is so annoying and i don't even use it.

in other news .. 

courtesy of eli manning and my mom's  new mac. which she doesn't really use. yeah. hahaha

start spreading the news

you know, sometimes people comment a lot about how " *fake* " other people are. now i'm not trying to call anyone out, there are too many people who do this, but i tend to wonder, maybe they're calling me out. because sometimes i feel a little fake. maybe i'm trying to claim responsibility and take things too personally, but i don't understand it. sure, it's not nice, or fair, to pretend to act for show. or to play along when you are really trying to hide your distaste or insincerity. but at the same time, i catch myself doing it. doing it to save face or to be politically correct.

sometimes, i think we have to be a little fake. after all, i think the world would be quite harsh if everyone was as real as real pie. even the nice people. i'm sure even the nicest person wants to curse off someone. i personally would i find it difficult for anyone to like me if i went around telling people how i honestly think they are the worst person in the world or how much their fake tan sucks. [because it really does suck!] really, do i want to be in that mess? i know it's such high school drama. and it's obvious when you sense the tone in the person's voice. well, sometimes.

like i said i do admit "faking" things sometimes to be politically correct. [i'm not talking orgasms, people, get your mind out of the gutter! hah joke] my cousin jenn said that it's something that runs in our family, LOL. not that i'm saying that my family is a bunch of fake people and that you can't trust us. on the contrary. we are very honest people and we feel what we feel and say what we say. i find my family to be very trustworthy.

but don't tell me you haven't put on a straight face when you saw someone you didn't like. or smiled so plastic just to convince them that "yes, you really do like them!" "no, it's okay! i'm not irritated!" i know i have. plenty of times. even when i sooooo didn't like the person, or the situation, or i was just very ANNOYED. i guess i do it to avoid conflict. because i can't stand conflict. and don't tell me you haven't told someone to keep a secret because you didn't want another person to know, and you continue faking along this charade of blissful ignorance to avoid a messy situation. sometimes, even trust is built on the ability to well, be fake, in a way.

so i know, you don't like fake people. i get it. i also don't appreciate insincerity when i encounter it. but sometimes, when you call them out, i hope you're not being a hypocrite about it.

over futile odds, and laughed at by the gods

i have an hour before my ID class starts.
you know, the class that i just completely got an almost-F in.
yes, i admit it. i am telling the world, right now, i got a 60 on my ID exam.
yesterday i was trying really, really, really hard not to let it get to me because i have an exam today.
and an exam tomorrow.

but i couldn't help it.

i cried. again.

i know, i'm such a baby. i shouldn't be crying, i'm a P2 or whatever the hell i'm supposed to call it. 4th year. same thing. this isn't the first time i got an almost-F [it happened last semester too, hah] but i can't help it.
i know, it's only the first exam. i have 3 more chances to do something right. i know. it's not the end of the world. but then why do i have this feeling of impending doom?

yesterday in med chem the professor was trying to do his best to inspire us, saying how "during graduation there is a line of faculty who applaud you while you are getting your diploma." it felt like a pep talk before "the big game." as if we were going to war.

war, with drugs. antibiotics, etc.

last week i got a similar inspirational talk in my pharmacology class too --

it's as if the professors are trying to make sure that we don't go suicidal and try and kill ourselves. or do something rash -- something that could potentially harm ourselves.

somehow i don't know if it's really helping to give us pep talks like that. soemtimes i feel like it just makes it worse -- as if they are just rubbing it in our faces the fact that we are suffering.

there are days where i am amazed by how far i've made it in this program but i'm still so far away from the goal. sometimes i don't know what i did to get here, because i feel like i haven't learned a damn thing in the past 4 years.

there are times when i want to give up so bad. i just want to leave.

but i can't. it's like i'm trapped.

i desperately want a vacation. i want to get out of here, out of this mess that i got myself in.

i should be studying for my exam tonight .. i should always be studying when i'm not, but i don't care. not right now. not while i'm trying to hold on to the last bit of sanity that i have left.

on a one to ten she's a certified twenty, but that just ain't me

yo, so lemme get out my semi-ghetto speak for this entry. i'm seeeerious, yo. it's that serious!

okay so first i was watching the challenge game show or whatever on channel 12 .. and i saw bishop ahr was competing! yeah so i don't know anyone anymore at that school -- my generation has up and graduated already -- but i was cheering for them! too bad the mother f'in pingry beat them. like dags. i knew it was because we don't learn that much random shit at bga.

and then today i was talking with my homie and i had some kind of frickin age life crisis or some shit! like damn, i was like, shit, how old am i!?! homie's brother christian is gonna be f'in 18 like for serious. FOR SERIOUS! i frickin met that kid when he was still small like 10 years old! daaags! iono what had haaappened! dags! i was like, i thought i was still at bishop ahr or somethin! man! and frickin her cousins alexa and zandrea [is that how you spell it?] are 15 and 6 [respectively going to be] and alexa's frickin in bishop ahr now!!!! like what the f is that! i still remember when she was 6 or 7 and writing me cute letters! i bet she doesn't even remember me anymore. that's okay. i am too old to be getting letters from baby cousins of my friends. haha. i am just sayin, where did my time go? dags, i still remember being at bishop ahr and writing in my xanga and shit. dags. i looked at my old xanga entries and it was serious! mary said xanga was a whole other lifetime. yeah, you right you right! i mean even know blogger is another slice of my life that i'm lookin at. i bet that when i read these entries years from now i might be kicking myself. i know i've grown up and shit but dags! high school was that long ago?! wtf .. LOL. so then i was like, on the website of bishop ahr and it all is like high tech and shit now and it's like, damn! that was a start up when i graduated! like what is that! sewing club!? wish i got that shit! i prolly woulda went to fashion school if i had that shit going on. forreeeals

yo i used to think that things happened for a reason or some junk like that, cause like, you know, i thought that maybe 9/11 happened so i could meet johan or whatever. and maybe that's true and maybe it's not, but it's like dags!

sometimes charles and i discuss about how we led parallel lives in high school and had mutual friends but we never really took the opportunity to talk and get to know each other and shit like that. cause you know i was like almost bff at one point with chris his bro bro and i din even know there was a such thing as charles. like dags! i din even talk to charles until college! and then i'm like yeah i think it was better that way because i was way too tryna be ghetto or some shit like that nah meean. charles is not ghetto except he listens to biggie smalls and tupac but he says "they got shot and died." LOL. he would think i was a loser. at least that is what i think he would be thinking but then like back when i was a total facebook stalker before lent i saw mad corny pictures of charles. hell yeah, we both are mature or whatevs now. yeah!

anyways, i guess my ghetto speak is over. chyeah back to pharm/poison/med chem!

ricochets off the moon and sets the forest ablaze

today is ash wednesday.

today i have to give up eating meat, fast, and do all things catholic.
today, i have given up facebook, social networking, youtube, wikipedia, and looking up dumb stuff on the internet to fulfill my curiosities. [well, except i looked up the lupe fiasco lyrics for the title of this post.]
today, i bombed my med chem quiz that i intended on studying for on sunday, monday, and tuesday - but i instead successfully wasted all of those days watching the superbowl, doing that mr. pharmacy bull, and going to new york while subsequently spending the evening with charles doing absolutely nothing productive.

then again, tuesday was mardi gras; maybe i can use that as an excuse. the excuse for my superfluous amount [i'm not going to call it a waste, because time enjoyed wasted is actually time well spent] of studying time that i instead used to hang out and be young and reckless.

but no, today, today is ash wednesday. the day for the beginning of my self-sacrifice. i'm not gonna say that i'm magically going to get my act together with this studying thing just because today is ash wednesday. i highly doubt that. but maybe, for the sheer fact that i come to believe that i hope to accomplish something today -- maybe i'll actually do something studious.

midterm time is soon approaching and i dread it - this semester i have had more information jammed down my throat in the past 3 weeks than i have ever had in any first 3 weeks of the past semesters i've had. i didn't have any introductory week. no, "welcome class, let's introduce you to this topic. let's talk about it."

no. instead i get "LEARN THIS BITCH -- NOW"
how's that for higher education?

in my previous experience i tend to bomb anything medchem related - i don't do well with sheer memorizing and i'm still trying to hold onto what semblance of a young life i have. i'm just too lazy, too tired, to stay here, and study, and accomplish anything. i have no motivation. who am i staying here for? i guess i should take a clue from andy who stays late studying on campus.

but it's a lonely existence - bookworming it up in the library.

honestly i don't think the material is the only thing that makes 4th year [P2] hard. i think it's a mental challenge - being able to handle and balance school and fun and everything in between.

for the past couple of weeks my mom has been on my case about going out on the weekdays.
i know she has a point, but then again, where's the slack i get for being young? i don't know.

anyways, again i have successfully spent studying time in exchange for mental stability. i feel it was time well spent.

♥ to my best in the world, jackie :)

i don't really care we can have it anywhere kind of love

forever was a minute, and eternity was a second ..

i only got away with taking this picture because charles was tipsy .. LOL

clumsy

yeah so remember that whole, bliss thing? the neverending state of happiness i was talking about?

yeah that's gone. it's faded out.
it's as if i was living in a dream for 2 weeks and suddenly i've woken up.

today was the second day of school and i just felt so .. so bland. like the vivacity i had was sucked out of me.

honestly, if you really want to know, i found last semester to be academically exciting. i know, i was crying, complaining that it was too hard, on the verge of getting not so nice grades -- but it was so academically stimulating. everything i was learning was so fresh, so new -- i was thrilled. it was hard, but i felt like, like .. you know what? i'm really smart to have gotten this far to be learning these things!

but now, it feels like waking up after a good night of dancing. or snowboarding, but i never been snowboarding before; but for all intents and purposes i'll use this also as an analogy. lol.
you know, you go to a great party. or, you go to new york city. and you dance and walk and dance the night away. and you have the one of the best days of your entire life, taking in all of the juice of life and it feels great!
but of course, you can't stay awake for the whole day [unless you're my Rx friends who pull all nighters LOL] and then you go to sleep. and then when you wake up the next morning it's like .. OUCH. you're tired, and sore, and just so out of it .. and all you can think about is "what the hell happened last night? it was fun, but damn!"

.. and that's how i feel like right now.

if you are what you say you are, a superstar

so i slightly changed my layout, you know, for valentine's day and all .. and my mom saw the banner i just made and started getting all these ideas ..

but it's like .. ever since charles went away to the philippines and then came back, it feels like we've been together in a state of unadulterated bliss. i feel so happy, so randomly happy, being with him, seeing him .. that it feels unnatural at times. i guess i've been spending so much time being unhappy, and stressed, that finally being truly happy scares me. but then again, i should enjoy all the happiness that i've been blessed with .. school is coming, and you know what that means. so, for the time being, right now, just let me enjoy my blissful time, with my cheesy banner showing how much i love this frickin tall guy. let me go back to those days where i could be honestly mushy and gushy like a crazed teenager. i guess it is better sometimes that charles doesn't read my blog, because i can be as brutally honest and as brutally sugary sweet as i want to. and eventually, i'll take this banner down, and put one that's simply design based.

at least, you can get a little slice of my life. you can see this person who makes me happy. and although my mom protests that this is like "bragging" or "broadcasting" charles and i's relationship, well, let me have it for these few moments. this isn't going to be a permanent banner! sigh.

i just love him! sorry! lol

2007 recap, however late!

The 2007 Survey
Did you change in 2007?:	I think so .. I feel older and wiser now lol
What was the best moment of 2007?:	my 21st birthday, yay!
Did you fall in love in 2007?:	I am always falling in love everyday with Charles [i know i'm corny shut up =)]
Did your life change in 2007?:	It changes a little everyday, but with school harder, yes
Will you remember 2007 as a good or bad year?:	I think it was both, but I'm gonna say it was better instead of worse
Bests of 2007
Song?:	Because of You - Ne-Yo
Album?:	probably Ne-Yo's album, Alicia Keys' album
Concert?:	hahaha .. I didn't go to any but Hanna Montana was bananas LOL
TV show?:	OMG ummmm Las Vegas, OMG!!! I KNOW! HOW IT'S MADE! THAT'S MY SHOW
Movie?:	Transformers!
Book?:	I don't know, Pharmacotherapy? LOL
Video Game?:	Dance Dance Revolution Hottest Party!
Fashion Trend?:	Opaque Tights and Flats
New Craze?:	? I would say Wii but it came out in 2006 lol
Worsts of 2007
Song?:	Personally I think soulja boy is pretty dumb
Album?:	the corny ones
Artist?:	Britney Spears .. just a hot mess!
Movie?:	Well if they sucked I didn't see them LOL
Book?:	I don't read books anymore LOL
Tv Show?:	Tila Tequila's show!
Fashion Trend?:	UGGS WITH EVERYTHING, I HATE UGGS
Latest Craze?:	?
Random 2007 Questions
What concerts did you see?:	None, =(
What memories were the best?:	Memories with Charles and my bff buddies for life .. oh and work memories! and and .. my 21st birthday, and random jokes in school, eating at U-yees, etc etc
How were the holidays in 2007?:	lame! Christmas was lame, no one came, and New Year's was even more lame! SUPER LAME!
Did you keep your new years resoulution?:	I don't think I really made any .. Sam and I tried to be the Pussycat Dolls .. Charles thinks I'm a pussycat doll .. so maybe? ahahahahha
Do you have any regrets about 2007?:	Just the fact that I probably could have done better in school .. what else is new lol
Who were your celebrity crushes in 2007?:	Shia Labeouf, umm, Josh Duhamel, David Beckham hehe
What celebrities were you so sick of in 2007?:	Britney and Paris hands down
Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend in 2007?:	Charles! the amazing super deluxe tall guy! my favorite!!!
Did you go to a prom in 2007?:	I had a halfway done formal, does that count?
Did you graduate anything in 2007?:	nope, i wish!
Was your heart broken in 2007?:	I had my days
Did you loose any friends in 2007?:	Well I lost contact with a bunch of people because of school
Did you discover a new hobby in 2007?:	DDR and some other stuff .. teehee
Did you make any new friends?:	School friends! Work friends!
Did you conquer any fears?:	Yep .. fear of going out late lol
Did you move somewhere new in 2007?:	Nope!
What were your favorite inside jokes of 2007?:	Oh man, so many! But the best one is SEXY TIME! and AFFECTION, AFFECTION!
Did you aquire any new nicknames in 2007?:	not really
How was the summer of 2007?:	pretty good! but i worked most of the time
What song best describes your 2007?:	Beautiful Girls -- Sean Kingston
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